Business, Vacation Travel and What I Love

Back to the off season, winter, you know, November and December is a time for rest and rejuvenation and TRAVEL again at the B&B!!!

For me, travel was the ticket this year.  I went down South for a cruise with a friend in January and then again for another Alaskan Cruise with my siblings in February. Went to hike around Vancouver Island and see my sister too; how could anyone not want to live there full time? It's magical.  

Tried to plan for my annual Australia trip to see the grand babies, (who for the first time called me grandma on the phone after being promised chocolate), but this trip has been delayed till 2020. BTW, being called Grandma is a high point since most of the time they don't have a clue who I am and I know in my heart that they have only just parroted their mom but I'll take what I can get. 

 I've had time to try some new business ventures; lots of Paint & Sip Nites, some were even Live Nude painting, shocking!  Musical Energy Sound Healing events were numerous. People have come in to talk Spirituality,  Indigenous arts, Meditation & Journaling.  

I've hosted lots of sexuality and travel seminars- those both are fun. 

I've even hosted a few Dating discussion nights, for all the good that has done me. I should work for Ghost Busters for the amount of ghosting I've seen these days.  I know it is not only me.  There was a brief fast and furious romance with a charming gentleman who was to whisk me away for a wellness catamaran cruise around the Greek islands.  Didn't happen and is not going to but wouldn't that be the coolest trip?  Someday...  or maybe I was supposed to  rent a villa in Tuscany instead, with my sister and Iceland with him.  I really like the off season.   

And then there was this evening of reckless driving through puddles of unknown origin by Prince Charming, in my car while I passengered since I don't like to drive. While flying through one of these said ponds, there was the mother lode of all potholes in Ottawa; it was like a sinkhole swallowing up my baby. So the car in that particular pothole cost me close to a grand. I guess the lesson here is I drive my own car at my old lady speed as another designated driver and like a turtle, slow and steady 'cause its MY insurance on the block. So many lessons to learn.

Volunteered at Humanics Sanctuary in Cumberland in their opening year and now me and my peeps are all on the planning committee. How the heck did that happen; he's such a sneaky little visionary. Why l even found time to put on at least 3 performances there to teach about healing energy and making lots of noise.  The kids seem to like it. 

Planned two spiritual spa days; one for  Empowerment in the summer with my favourite intuitive Nicole Moronval from Montreal and she came back in Nov for a Spiritual Masterclass using my place instead of renting the church for space.  I love hosting workshops here.  I also had one workshop in French which is normally kind of a drag for me because if I don't understand most of what's being said so it just ends up being a job. Fortunately for me, this one provided follow-along reading and I understood almost everything.  I do these workshops so that I can jump in with both feet but there such a need for this in French that I find it hard to resist doing it. I like to see the looks on their faces as they leave all aglow.

Its important for me to do stuff for myself too so I don't feel ripped off at the end of summer.  Can't forget the Kaleidoscope festival- a most unusual event for sure, Rod Stewart, my first Pride Parade, grew medicinal herbs, and my favourite, spending quality time with the youngest prodigal child who came to watch me perform at Humanics - that was truly a highlight of my year, spending quality time with the beast, and sharing my interests.  We camped, hiked, went to Lilydale retreat in New York state, rented a Mongolian yurt and basically put some fun and balance back in my life.  

Business Travel in Ottawa was amazing, just not so much in the off season because people want longer stays.   Earlier this year, one of my business contacts  filled my house for 3 weeks with a man from India. Have you ever read from me before that I love living alone? I still do. Today another family is coming by to request a full month. I keep swearing I wont ever do it again but I alway do at some point, and end up regretting it from the daily car shuffle in the driveway to the sharing of the TV; madness I tell you!  So many requests for newly separated families desperate for a place to stay.  

It's been an interesting year and through all of the Bed and Breakfast angsts and growing pains,  I have discovered some things that truly make me happy.   It's simple really and it IS a conundrum.  I like to live alone AND I love to have a full B&B and host and pamper guests, maybe because I know they are going home and I can wow them for a short time. After they leave, I can have that sigh of relief as they drive away, I loosen my belt, maybe belch a little, let's be brutally honest, release gases that proper hosts refuse to release with paying customers around, then eat leftovers and let the house go to hell.  There is nothing so wonderful as turning the tube to Netflix and vegging out in my mismatched jammies, knowing I have a day or two off.  That is the true meaning of Home Sweet Home. I love living alone; it makes me so happy.  Wait, what's that, another business guest wanting a room?  Of course we are open. Must practice the word NO.

I've had lots of time to unsuccessful slog through my ever obsession- the mounds and tons of paperwork and finances. I, just tonight, had the biggest Aha moment of my life as it relates to organizing.  A paper junkie like myself feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel;  the boxes of paperwork are daunting.  I would cover my dining room table, a focal point for the house, with all my work and the call would come in with a guest arriving shortly. I'd pile and re-pile my projects in boxes, or should I say burial ground, never to be seen again and then I lose all the momentum.  Did it again recently after someone rented my house and after they all left, I looked at the empty dining room table which is almost never clear and I began to think... A clean dining room table makes me so happy.  With company, I can't work on paperwork so it really takes the pressure off and that is so calming.  

When I was able to work again, I simply took out one item of work to finish that was outstanding and I actually finished it!!!!  Eureka.  Then I took another thing out to work on and realized how productive I actually am if I tackle one job at a time and not 3000 mindless multi-tasking details at once, completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of what needs to get done. I'm more productive when I don't multitask.  One good thing about procrastinating on getting back to the burial ground is, what I once thought was important back then has expired, and is now ready to be filed or sent to bin 13.

My friend Albert filled my head with years worth of great marketing ideas that I have never found the time to do.  It's so daunting and stressing to have them all piling high.  Here's the kicker, and I know I've said this often.  I am stressed because I don't have enough time to market my place because the house is full of guests and I'm too busy.  Hmmmm.  Do you see the "problem" here?  Ironic eh?  There is no problem, just guilt because I feel like I'm not doing enough. I love having the blessing of having a full B&B and the luxury to choose to not having guests as well. I have to turned away many guests who just call minutes before they need me and my place is full so I must be doing something right. Can I tell you a secret?  Sometimes I am "full" when all I desperately  need is a night off.  More Catholic guilt for me. 

I get contacted daily by marketers wanting to improve my website. They told me it's good but I'm very low on the SEO. That panics me until I realize my house is as full as I wanted to be. I currently had a Romance package and they said from Montreal they typed in Romance and mine was the first one that came up. Other people tell me they type in bed and breakfast and again the same results. Lying rat-bastard marketers feeding off of my fears and vulnerability! I love that my website developer Natalie knows her stuff.

I need to fill up the car. A full tank of gas is one of my greatest joys and security. There is nothing so satisfying as a full tank of gas at an all time low rate, and finding the prices have jumped since I filled up the night before. Sometimes the gas is priced so low and I have a full tank, I just want to empty mine to get the better rate.  I truly love a full tank of gas; sometimes I don't want to take a drive downtown to see the tank go down bar by bar.  It's like giving me a free pass to travel and not worry.

I love taking a trip and returning to post the bragging rights photos on the wall of fame.
I love watching the look of wonder as someone paints their first masterpiece and have never picked up a paint brush before.  I love the look on the family of guests who have put on the Virtual Reality glasses and the shit eating grin of happiness and surprise that this technology exists.  So many walk away wanting the price and how to purchase one.

It tickles me when I show off the Bed of Nails and the Accupressure mats both, and make someone lie on it bare back and with true needles biting into their flesh and their look of pride they did it.  Most love it but some grouse and complain loudly and angrily and get up only to ask, where can they buy one.  Lots of B&B owners sell mugs and various sundry products but I sell only the Accupressure mats and Anti-Arthritis finger massagers.  I sell a great many- good for circulation, sleep and keeping healthy. End of infomercial and I must remember to keep off Amazon.  They are killing me with cool wellness tools.

My favorite thing when a guest leaves the romance room just to find that they never used the jacuzzi tub. That just means I can turn the water on and hop right in my tub that I have been missing 4 days. I have no idea how people start the day without a bath but I will find a silver lining if I have to paint it there. Love my two person soaker jacuzzi. 

I love when my guests are chillin’ reading from my eclectic library of Spiritual and Sexual interests. my absolute favoritest book on the planet "The Guide to Getting It On" is the olden day’s version of Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask and let me tell you, my readers are riveted, as they should be. Total silence for the last hour. I bought this book from a spiritual store and I wasn't shopping, just killing time but I had to have it. It's about 800 pages of brilliance but it was too heavy to carry on the bus so I broke it up into pieces and the pictures are too dirty so you have to read it very carefully in public unless you want judgment or funny looks. A librarian friend of mine was mortified that I had torn up a book into chapters so she borrowed it, read it and then rebound it in three separate groups which I’m eternally grateful for. Now I show it to most of my guests and lots have it ordered from Amazon before they even check out. One friend read it cover-to-cover twice all 800 pages and then came back with a list of questions for me. One young family of Travelers actually had this book change their love life forever after the young new husband had read it and gained insight on a misconception he'd always believed. Its life changing!.

And now I feel like I should be spinning around like Julie Andrews singing These Are a Few of My Favourite Things. Can't wait to see what 2020 brings.more; thankfully that is over for now. Time for rest and rejuvenation and travel!!!

The Challenges of a New Parent Running a B&B

Oh dear God, what have I done at this Orleans Bed and Breakfast?  I made a big mistake.  Let me start by, it seemed like a really good idea but in the end it wasn't and I don't know how to get out of it. A million things in my life have gone this way but none worse than accepting my first and last two baby medicinal, now legal seedlings. Unlike Clinton, I don't smoke up, I truly don't inhale and I would never do edibles. I do have a wellness themed bed and breakfast and I know that this herb has so many healing qualities so I thought the leaves in tea might be a lovely novelty. You Tube tells me I'm deluded.

I was a proud parent and all excited to get these two tiny babies but well, I have no idea how to raise them.  Common sense sends all of you and the rest of the world to You tube videos but not this dinosaur, not until it was too late.  Fortunately, there has been no shortage of information from well-meaning friends. 

My first step was to gingerly go into the garden specialty store and whisper I have a plant and I don't know how to take care of it. He was thoroughly versed on it and gave me all kinds of advice, while speaking quite loudly, much to my chagrin. I might as well have been searching for condoms or feminine hygiene products.   I also have a next door neighbour who really enjoyed visiting nature's greenery plants and touching them and brushing them and smelling them and rolling around on them like a dog in poop and then telling me what I was doing wrong, always what I am doing wrong, never what I have done right. Thankfully my soil has been nourished lovingly with 365 days a year compost. I will dare to brag that it's the best on my street, even despite the cold and the rain this summer. So what could possibly go wrong? Let me tell you.

At harvest time, I learned.  It is impossible to sit in the backyard with the stench of a hundred skunks coming from these too innocuous plants. Harvest day came and I uprooted them, cut off the roots andcut off all the leaves. Of course I wore gloves because I'm extremely sensitive to anything mind altering substances like caffeine, drugs, and alcohol. When it came down to the nitty-gritty of getting the smaller leaves, I took off my gloves and accidentally brushed against the buds. Within half an hour I was in a 2-hour coma and when I woke up I realized I could have probably slept for a month. I guess I have to be more careful because I don't intend to use it.  Stop rolling your eyes.

Like every good parent, I started with the basement workshop letting my babies hang upside to dry but that was a disaster with the smell infusing the house with pure evil, and how do you soak the house in tomato juice when this happens.  Can't be done!   I moved them and hung them in the garage but the stench was unbearable even with the garage door closed or open. The nasty smell continued to infiltrate the house so I had to move my tiny bounty out into the shed as I now had a full house of guests for three day.  Of course after one day I realized it wasn't getting dry enough in the shed, too much moisture so the only place left in my life that might be dry and safe was...wait for it..... my car. I should have known what a big mistake it would be but what else could I do with my guests. After I moved babies from the car, the damage was done.  Sure my guests were going in the backyard to smoke up but I can't have them living with my skunks in "their" house.

I went to the Humanics Sanctuary to volunteer and when I opened the doors to unload my instruments, a gust of skunks followed and eyebrows were raised.  It's been over a week that the car has been emptied and it still stinks.  People, don't make this mistake.  Seriously, it's just an experiment gone very wrong.

I am told to let my greenery dry long enough until they are lightly dry but slightly moist but not damp because they'll get rot. What the hell does that mean not dry but not moist. Right now they are all in a bag stinking up whatever room they are moved to and the garage and after 7 days of drying now I have to let them breath.  How on earth do you let them breath when every other person in the house is unable to when they are in the vicinity? They are some of my least favourite houseguests since I open 5 years ago. Will I do this again? I like to think that I learn from my past mistakes so..... 

Music and creativity at the B&B

Music  seems to be a common theme at the B&B.  Every morning, the guests appear at the time they have requested and they get to choose the music they want to listen to at breakfast.  They are usually so accommodating that they say they will listen to anything until I counter with Polka/Rap, then they quickly change their tune.  And yes, it sounds like I'm stereotyping but some groups always choose classical, and other age groups always want breakfast rock.  Lately, I've been listening to Hindi music, day after day after day, for a month, or is it 2 years, I'm not sure.  The time just runs together when the music is "that good".  That's what life is like when it's all about the guest.  

The year started off with me hosting a more intimate concert with Nigel who played lots of the Beatles and Homegrown Music that was a delight to listen to.  https://www.musicalwellness.com/ 

 As an afterthought, I went to see the movie "Yesterday" about the Beatles and it was the best show I've seen in ages.

I used to have the Energy Share where everybody got a healing and then I also did a Musical Sound Healing evening but then I got the inspiration to combine the two and oh my goodness it's wonderful. 

Everyone brought their beautiful musical instruments to share for the "show" at Humanics Sanctuary  on their opening day June 23rd. It was magical.  Imagine this spiritual place in nature where all age groups have gathered in the quiet of the meditation rock gathering place.  I explained to everyone how easy it is to heal and suddenly, everyone was practicing hands on healing and energy work.  Three minutes into the utter silence of nature, save for the sound of birds and the bubbling nearby spring, we slowly started to pick up instruments like rattles, chimes, bells, thunder tubes, Tibetan singing bowls and crystal singing bowls.  Everyone is wandering around trying all the instruments and nearing the 10 minute mark, the drums start....and reach a frenzy then on signal, utter silence.  It gave me goose bumps it was so fascinating.  The children really liked it and for some, it was their first attempt at healing.  What a legacy to help teach the young.

I hosted a lovely indigenous woman Lill to make rattles at my house and then it evolved into hosting a drumming Circle until the Facebook event said they were like 600 people coming. So she found a new venue and now once a month I get to do free drumming with a lovely group of my closest and newest friends.

I took yet another belly dancing class to music. The first one was at Movati and the second one level 2 no less, with Yagu, was at the Shenkman center and was marvelous fun. 

On a previous weekend I hosted a paint birthday party for a lovely group of women who requested my favorite folk singer musician Jim  who does a great sing along session. The ladies loved this.

Another weekend I went to see something I've wanted to do for 15 years and it was a folk show sponsored by Rasputin's at the Masonic temple. As I walked in late I felt like I was home. I sat down and the show started. My favorite instrument in the world is the HARP and there were two harps on stage and two women singing amusing songs. I think that's going to be even higher on my bucket list one day.

Just found out I'm entitled to request a guitar for Vets because simply serving time past boot camp and I qualify.  I was so excited until I read the criteria.  I must have PTSD.  I have grown children; shouldn't that count for something?  On my bucket list is playing the piano but I think the guitar will have to wait. 

 
Had the road trip of a lifetime to go see the Rolling Stones with a friend Roger, and it was unbelievable.  This absolutely has to be the last time they play in Canada.   I confided that I didn't have clue what they sang as I hadn't listened to them in years.  My music is sappy sing-a-long love songs.  Well, out came the CD and 5 hours on the drive there, ok I exaggerate. These guys are like 75 and while they are as old as the hills and have lived every life experience to the extreme, surprisingly, some of them could still move, at least I think it was them.  They were just ants on stage with the huge videos.  For all I know, they could have been doing a podcast from their homes and used actual ants on stage.  Either way it worked.  There was an unexpected ending to the evening tho.  In our cars at 11pm and 5 hours later, 30,000 cars vacated the site; yes, 5 hours and this isn't a Boretski exaggeration!  OMG, the energy in the car was "hangry" which was a sharp difference to the energy at the concert.  

So every time I do a musical energy sound healing and I don't have somebody there who has brought some of their special instruments I'm a little embarrassed because it's less-than-stellar for me. My friend Cheryl noticed a woman was selling a large amount of musical instruments for a pittance so I flew over there same day and bought everything. I have expanded my musical repertoire greatly. And then I went down to the music store and bought two more Thunder tubes and an African Bellaphone.  What have I done?  I've got the music fever.  So now I just need chime and crystal sounds if you have any donations for the cause.


I finally made it to Nature Nocturne with my friends Cheryl and Jim.  We got to tour the Nature Museum which was pretty cool but I loved the Silent Concert.  Three DJ's playing wildly different music and we got to go back and forth between the tunes, depending upon which ones were encouraging the crazier dancing.

Sadly, I have not attended a music festival yet this year in Ottawa.  Well I guess I have to save something for another day.  

Six Months of Workshops, Travel and the Bucket List at the Bed and Breakfst

6 months in for Spoiled Rotten Bed and Breakfast in Orleans and I can't believe how the 

business plan has evolved. 

It was predicted that  this year would be different than all the other years and man were they right. I seem to have focused on workshops a whole lot more and for a whole lot longer than I did other years; something seemed to click and a well loved organizer and friend, Thea, supported me and used the adoration of her fans to promote it so it seemed right to just join the queue and drink her coolaid. 

Ann and Greg

First off, I offered a group and then a private Pierogi  making class. You know how when you go to the beach and come home with sand everywhere?  Well there was flour EVERYWHERE!  

Had a few Paint Nites which segued into Nude Paint Nites which were even more popular!

Enjoyed a house concert with Nigel Harris and his lively brand of music.   https://www.musicalwellness.com/

My reward was a western Caribbean Norwegian cruise with an old family friend, Jerry Wolf. 

Hosted an Indigenous Rattle Making class with Lill and then an Energy Share & Sound Healing, some Drumming- Lill-style (man she's versatile),  https://www.facebook.com/events/465225770948898/  and a  

Spiritual Discussion Coffee Group evening.                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Things got interesting when my favourite masochistic massage therapist allowed me to join my cousin's appointment and take notes.  He is so gifted and I hope to incorporate his techniques into my own massages one day.    

This year I think was the first time I caught the Tulip Festival, and of course, my

garden was in full bloom as well.  

Started my vegetable garden a week early.  The yuckiest day of the year is compost in the garden day.  Oh the agony but it's what makes my garden soil good enough to eat AND all the rogue plants that come out of the compost make it fascinating....well every year but this one.  Nothing, nada.  What a rip!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Got involved with Humanics last year and have had lots of talks since January about this favorite spiritual place- Humanics Sanctuary in Cumberland, preparing for their 2nd year grand opening on June 23rd. http://www.humanicsinstitute.org/

A woman hosted a Girls Nite Out private Paint Party and another had a Paint Birthday party at Spoiled Rotten Bed and Breakfast. My prices are the cheapest in town at $15 per person, including your beverages and food but this is the real reason why I do it.  At least one of them would like to come and help me in the bed and breakfast. At least one of them wants to attend my Psychic Spiritual spa afternoon. Some of them signed up for my newsletter because they like the topic of the workshops coming up. One of them is interested in my romantic date night which I explained was cheaper than one night in a regular hotel including everything you could imagine. It all works out in the wash.

Then "we" delved into unknown territory and hosted one of my first Dating After 40/ Sex After Divorce Potluck Parties and was that ever a lot of fun.  My intent was the discussion about sex after divorce but the group were told it was dating after 40.  Those two topics did not really go together but oh was it a lively afternoon.

 

I got to go away to a spiritual retreat in the country with Deb and Louise and learned what NOT to do at a retreat as the hostess.  Oh they are good women to vacation with.

Playing giant dice by the fire

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I continue to host more Dating After 40 parties. No sooner had I posted it then the event was full with a huge waiting list; how exciting.                                                                                                                                                                                            

One of my favorites mediums, Nicole Babin, came to do a French only Spiritual Spa Day on Angels and Energy and then had a potluck with spiritual friends. 

Off to knock another bucket list item off- vacationing with my siblings.

Bros Tom and Paul, and sister Diane

 Another cruise back to Alaska to take lots of pictures this time and finally have memories  unlike my first trip where my camera fell in water. 

College Fjiords

She looks like I feel

Ever since my daughter moved to Australia and stole my grandbabies away, and my younger daughter has moved out on her own, I have started going on outings with the Ottawa one.  We've been hiking, and camping lately and she is becoming more of a friend than a daughter, FINALLY.  Woohoo!  I don't have to hide the brewskis, pillow mints for the guests and all my socks anymore.  Only 27 years of thievery gone to the wayside.

My daughter Jessica was supposed to go camping with a friend in Algonquin park and asked if she could borrow all my camping gear. Over the past lifetime my precious babies have borrowed my stuff and broken or lost almost everything so I was very leery of her having all my good stuff which I use often for my solo trips. I tentatively gave her all my crappy gear- tents with broken zippers, missing poles... you know, the "karma's a bitch" stuff and coming back to bite you on the butt for not taking care of it the first time around. I didn't check anything- I gave her buckets of  unorganized stuff. Then her trip got cancelled and she asked me along. Good grief, I would have to go through everything again. She came back with her van full so we didn't pack it properly or if I must be honest, check it at all. I added tons of new stuff just in case from replacing old crappy tents with a working huge tent. We figured it would all work out. It did but we haven't forgotten this much in our entire lives. I've only been on one other subsequent camping trip where we forgot even more stuff.  This is the summer of survive or die apparently. 

Previous camping partners would've turned over in their grave if they were actually there. Apparently lot of stuff comes from inside the house and doesn't stay in with the camping gear like spatulas cutlery drinking cups. We had exactly one melted plastic fork 10 knives and a bunch of spoons. The only spatula we had was probably a pot scraper but hey it worked. It was too cold for the raccoons or mosquitoes but they were watching for sure.  

Barron Canyon at the top.

Honestly, the mosquitos were not the worst;  its just you forget what its like having things fly around your head and it was preparing me for my upcoming Killarney nightmare straight out of a Stephen King novel.  It got much colder and we were expecting a lot of rain.  

Last summer, I took foraging hikes and learned all about what Mother Nature offers. We may have enjoyed some of her medicines and laughed til we cried.  Hiked Barron Canyon twice and filled our cameras with millions of pictures.  Caught up on hours of sleep and even manifested a flotilla of male canoers.  Well the trip got cut short with the torrential rains but the memories will last forever; epic mother/daughter camping trip then back to work, again.

An offshoot from the Sex and Dating After 40/Divorce was the requested Online Dating Discussion group which went off marvelously.

Another thing knocked off my Bucket List- camping in Killarney Provincial Park with a friend, to commune with the hordes of pterodactyl mosquitoes and be carried away by the Green Mile black flies outside and inside the yurt. Oh my God what a terrible time to camp.

Back home, the phones are starting to ring now, the place is starting to book up since I'm finally here with cell service. Hosting a caregiver 101 class for all those overworked caregivers then another Online Dating class which filled up  to capacity  in less than half a day. 

Off to see the Rolling Stones for Canada Day weekend- are they still alive??? 

I'm sure there will be many more workshops and paint nights throughout the summer unlike last year but my favorite is coming up with Nicole Moronval, the intuitive medium from Montreal who will talk about Empowerment and Spirituality on July 6th at my Spiritual Spa Day. https://spoiledrottenbnb.ca/about/upcoming-events/#event|spiritual-spa-day-2|68 .  Sign up soon. 

What a half year this has been but now I'm back to work so give me a call and let's get you Spoiled Rotten again.

Travel and Pampering for the Host of a Bed and Breakfast -2019 W Caribbean Cruise

Travel and pampering is what everyone wants at a Bed and Breakfast but who takes care of the host.  The bigger question is who would turn down a pre-paid cruise with a dear family friend who had suffered a great loss and needed to get away? Certainly not me.  

You'd think, by now, I would know the ropes but I'm always nervous about traveling. My housemate, aka no-longer-in-the-will daughter refused to take me to the airport. I'm too cheap for a taxi and Uber confuses me so that left the bus system!  The previous day  it was minus 40 but travel day was supposed to be only -12; of course that doesn't happen when I travel. When I woke up at 0-stupid-Hour, it was still - 35 with a wind chill advisory and of course I'm traveling in summer jeans. I have hauled my large suitcase to the further bus stop because I knew the enclosure was protected from the wind but of course someone kicked out all the glass. 

Another traveler suggested a more direct bus to a different destination so now I didn't know where I was going or what the connections were. I asked an incoming bus driver if the 97 stops where I am and he said yes but hop on I'll get you to a warmer bus stop okay. Bus drivers are so nice.  We talk, he wants to show me pictures of his dog on his cell phone... while he's driving, good grief, and suddenly he stops and says wait where are you going again? I told him the airport and I hear, "oh shit I screwed up it's the other direction okay don't worry I will take you to the O-station (which of course I've never used) and its be warmer there and then that'll take you to another bus which would be faster than if I took the original one." This was getting really complicated. Once there after much worry, a gentleman specifically told me which direction to wait for the airport bus and wait I did until I realized he sent me to the wrong place which was warm. Back to the other side of the road which  wasn't heated and there were no buses at all. There was a huge accident on the highway and the buses couldn't get through. I was seriously worried about frostbite I was there for so long and missing my flight.  40 minutes later in the frigid air, the bus came and I realized I was only going just to the states so I only had to be there 2 hours early. Loads of time.

In the US airport, one of the first sites to assault my eyes was this and I realized I was in crazy man's county.  

Once I arrived in Orlando, the hi jinks continued. There were so many terminals. I got off the plane, followed the millions of people who took the tram to the other side and went downstairs, of course the wrong way to pick up my luggage and go to lost and found to inquire of my missing reading glasses which  fell off in the bathroom on the plane. 

BTW, have you ever been the last person on the plane at arrival.  I was waiting for everyone to get off and suddenly, I was swarmed by non English speaking cleaning staff.  They were like locusts swarming over every seat moving at the speed of light to tidy up our messes.  

 After a bit, the glasses were located and I had to retrace my steps and go back to the beginning only this time through security and the lineup was 10,000 deep. Caught the tram, ran over there and grabbed the glasses turned around and down again went through the tram. Went downstairs to meet my buddy went the wrong way yet again, had to circle around and go down a different place. The whole day was just chasing my tail. 

We finally connected and went to the airport hotel  and realized we got the last room with a king size bed to share with a half stranger, me. Awkward! We both slept badly. I woke up every hour on the hour, him a new widower and me, just on my own for far too long.

We went to bed at 8 o'clock, you know seniors (58 and 75) and I was up for the day around 3 and 4 o'clock. I've scanned the rat race to find the right person to give us the right information but alas they did not exist. We shuffled, like cattle, from one terminal to the next, upstairs downstairs and finally after given up all hope, we got herded through another terminal upstairs and downstairs to catch a shuttle to the cruise ship. I've never been so lost.  With over 4000 people on the cruise ship,I'm counting on 10 days of being more lost.  

With the balcony upgrade the rooms are huge with couches and tons and tons of storage. Before I left Canada I just kept packing stuff in my suitcase and I realized I'd forgotten all my underwear and socks so then I over compensated, and packed everything I've ever owned. I have probably for 12 days, 25 pairs of underwear;  Ridiculously unnecessary. We got the drink package; probably totally unnecessary too. Another Cruise Line guest from a travel site said if you drink 15 drinks per day it would probably pay off but we each drink only two and we're smashed. It's quite comical and pathetic - we can barely stay awake till 8 o'clock at night which is weird cause I'm not normally in bed until midnight..

I couldn't wait to use the gym and its was magnificent.  I could blow off the ports of call just to work out. Or maybe I'll go for supper number 7. At one of my first meals, I saw a tub of mozzarella and just piled it on....nope, rice noodles! You don't make that mistake twice. Also everyday hidden away is a different cobbler with caramel sauce. Yes! That is how I want to be buried.

So our balcony is on the 14th floor and yet there's ocean spray from all the way down there. Oh it felt so nice to listen to the waves all night long with the window open but it's sure high up.

After two days at sea, we were anxious to get off to see the Bahamas, but it was cancelled so it's off to the gym.  

My friend Jerry was a forensic fire investigator so I knew he would be amazing doing Escape Under the Big Top, like an Escape Room. Forensic investigator my ass. He was, and I say this with love, just as stupid as I was.

Everyday, we hot tubbed and we also watched the various shows; the NewlyWed game was hysterical, as was the Hypnotist. Finished off in the hot tub again at night and a movie playing under the stars. Doesn't get any better than this.

I read today, "everyone has their own story and a duty to tell it". I like that. 

Next stop was the island of Jamaica -Ocho Rios.  We just walked straight into town and oh boy have I forgotten how  ports of calls are. It was bad! You're at the mercy of the locals wanting to have us use their taxi services and they were relentless, cunning and oh so charming.  "Do you want to see the beach. Look at my shop. My shop better, lookie, cheap cheap" and the more they do this and the more they follow us,  the more pissed off I get.  We were just looking to window shop and get a taxi but I'm not paying $40. You walk off of the entrance and there now down to $30 but I bet I could get it for cheaper (famous last words). What could go wrong with that brilliant idea? 

One block more and we were into the inner city, the ghetto and oh my goodness what a culture shock. We were definitely the minority in the sea of very dark. Oh the landscape, the povery and the smells-  I could tell from looking at by travel companion that I had made a huge mistake.  I think we were both almost too shocked to react; well that is until the local batshit crazy mentally unstable woman started chasing after us screaming, even crossing the road  with us, shrieking the whole while. I was getting very nervous and finally we made the decision to take a cab and a near blind man shows up. He's got obvious cataracts with eyes that each look a different way and his teeth have rotted out.  He was very lovely but extremely pushy and finally I got the Jamaican brush of, "you don't like black people?  If you think you can find your way, go ahead lady." And then the skies opened up and an angel taxi driver showed up. We agreed on $25 for a fast and dirty city tour. We enjoyed ourselves and by the time my traveling companion paid him we're up to $40 anyway. Should have just let him take the first cabbie.

Finally we went back to the boat, ignored all the pushy vendors, "nothankyounothankyounothankyou" through security and I realized I just left my sunglasses in the cab - omg what have I done? My other sunglasses had bitten the dust on the first day. I have to go back and now I have to go do the walk of shame to ask every single vendor that I gave the cold shoulder to moments ago to ask if they sold sunglasses. It took me about 5 agonizing tries until one had a little basket of sunglasses. One was scratched to hell, one was clear glass, one was for a child and then again the skies opened up and an angel reached down and handed me the perfect pair of sunglasses for $5. I hightailed it out of there, got on the ship and after lunch went to use the hot tub again. It's the medical cure for all that ails you and if it doesn't work, the free pool side drink service picks up the slack.

You are always guaranteed to drinks and a show in the hot tub. There are some people that never leave the ship and stay in that hot tub 10 days straight to avoid all this stuff that we just went through. I put my drink down and the waiter came by and said are you finished? When I said no, the older guy beside me said yes she is, take it.  The waiter did and I said louder, "no I'm not finished".  He told the poor confused waiter again to take it away so he did.   I asked "why the hell did you give away my drink?"  He said it was his son's and he wasn't coming back.  Imagine his surprise when he realized he actually gave away my drink and had to replace it.  Oh, I laughed until I realized later that he wasn't on a drink plan.  OOps.

So off to the fancy French bistro-  we had a coupon with our room for a free bottle of wine. I haven't had a whole bottle of wine in a long time and I was a really feeling it so I got kind of sort of wasted a little. The lovely waitress introduce herself and apologized for something then said she was excited cuz it was her birthday and we talked to her a little bit. A second young lady showed up to fill our water and he asked how old she was for her birthday and she was a little bit confused. Apparently all of them look the same to him and I howled with laughter, yet again. Was feeling a little too woozy to do anything on the ship so we watch movies for the rest of the night and crashed.

On the first day, the room steward introduced himself and over the course of the 10 days, I tried desperately to remember his name.  Something like DY Aine but he had an accent and that is my downfall.  On the very last day, at reception, I wanted to leave a good review and requested the exact spelling of his very ethnic name........Dwayne, she told me.  I'd been butchering an English name all week that he was spelled out but I thought it was just a long name.

Day number 5, we're off to Grand Cayman today with absolutely no plans except to walk the city and probably the rent taxi with another couple to see the city.  Love starting my day with the gym.

So this was to be our second official shore day to Great Stirrup Cay, a Grand Cayman Island. We took the tender over for the first time along the shore and realized all the stores are closed because it's Sunday. The only stores open were tourist traps. We walked around, took the obligatory pictures and headed back to the harbor. It was a real treat not to be harassed by taxi, parrot holders, hair braiders .... We went back to the port to find another couple looking for a taxi but ended up going with a small tour van with a small group of Germans. They did not have to be back until 7 but we were assured we would be back by 2 o'clock. Well we went to a rum store to catch a buzz and a city tour and drove away from 7 Mile beach, darn, and  learned a lot of history, then we went to the turtle and Dolphins sanctuary. It was

then that we realized she screwed up and left her group there. She told us to run and see the dolphins for about 2 minutes,  drove like a mad woman to visit "Hell" for 3 minutes and then back to the boat in time so she could run back and pick up her crew. Oh so relaxing!!! Not. 

We can say we went to Hell and back. It is very well marketed because there is nothing to see; all hype. Never did get to see 7 mile beach.

Hell- just dried rocks

We were hungry and tired and crashed for the rest of the afternoon. Late supper made it to see the fantastic illusionist comedian and in bed by 9:30 with a time change but really 8:30.

Day 6-another great start in the gym then a crashing defeat...I weighed myself. Damn why did i do that. Shock therapy!!!  Said no to a couple of drinks and desserts. Oh when i get back I'm in for some serious change. Why do we justify wickedness when we are on vacay?

Solo breakfast and dined with strangers. He was a chatty one; I see it doesn't make a difference, even in international waters the world over- the men always seem to have verbal diarrhea. She had a headache so there I am standing up in the restaurant giving her an Indian head massage and looking like I'm pulling this woman's head off. I must have been a sight. 

Suntanned and hot tubbed again and learned something shocking...1/4 of the ship are Canadians...that's about 1000 advertisements on board and I only brought a few business cards. Damn I'm slipping. Already I'm mentally creating a smaller card for cruise travel. Already I have lined up potential clients who visit Ottawa for sports and business and some that want full house. This is a brilliant market...soaking in the hut tub, first thing they all do is ask where are you from and when a few say Canada, I work it in that I have a B&B in Ottawa, the capital, and they seem to remember the name, even on subsequent visits. Now I'm angling for a way to be called on stage and when I introduce myself to the audience, Spoiled Rotten BnB will definitely grace my lips, perhaps loudly.  Oh I wish I truly loved to be the centre of attention in front of strangers because I know it will not happen.

Been reading and moving slower these days- only 4 more left. Have to figure out how to go scuba diving in Belize. Oh I miss WiFi. I'm having serious withdrawals. 

Belize tomorrow, Costa Maya then Cozumel, my favourite place for scuba diving. We have a 10pm show tonite that we will never be able to stay up for, I fear. I feel like I've become an honorary senior by travelling with my 75 year young friend. He won't go to the gym with me so I punished him with Combat Ping Pong- every shot is in. Man were we huffin' and puffin'. 

Slept way too much but actually made the 10pm show and it was a FANTASTIC show about drag queens, "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" and they came from Australia. This is unheard of; me not falling asleep.  I've only ever stayed awake for the Lion King but slept thru every other Broadway musical. Most of the older travelers smiled and said it was fine but I most loved the illusionist and Drag Queen show.

We eat all of our breakfasts and lunches is in the buffet room and there was a young Asian girl there to welcome everybody and get them to wash their hands. She's over the top cheerful, and downright annoying. And she says very loudly, "Welcome to lunch. Happy happy, Washy washy, yummy yummy for your tummy to every single person that comes through the door at least twice a day and there are 4000 people on the board... perhaps so she could be saying upwards of 24,000 times per day. Even the staff on board imitate and mock her. Its like going to the Dominican in hearing the words cheapi cheapie all the time. I could hack my brain out every time I hear it but lots love her. 

So two days before I left Canada,  the temperature was -40 Fahrenheit and Celsius and now its about 85 Fahrenheit. That's 125 degrees difference.  Its hard to reconcile because with me not celebrating Christmas and now I'm doing something different in January I don't know whether I coming or going. But it's sure a good way to go if I had to. 

Went yesterday to the excursions desk to tell him the biggest thrill of my life is to go to Belize and scuba dive and he tells me they don't do scuba diving here even though its the second largest barrier reef. We kind of argued for a while and in the end, came to a truce agreeing to hate each other.

Apparently  NCL has purchased an island near Belize, outfitted it for an all inclusive and this is the stop,- 2 hrs from the closest reef. All that means is I have to pay for drinks meals and entertainment while I lie on their beach in the sun. Got to see the butterfly house but there were only three butterflies.   


Sitting on the deck of our room, in the beautiful sunshine looking at the lighthouse and the white sandy beach and the 6 pelicans dive bombing the water was da bomb. I've had worse days in life. Don't think I've ever been so relaxed and lazy. Had to change the clocks again and I realize that if I was going to try and scuba dive Costa Maya instead of Cozumel I would need to get to bed early and stop drinking. 

But just before we went to bed I found another activity on the ship that was on my bucket list of things to do. Play giant chess; more exactly, learn giant chess and not worry about people staring because the deck was empty. So Jerry taught me how to play and its been 40 years since he played too. I tried to learn from my ex once but I was just too brain dead. I had a couple of staff members cheering me on at one point saying I was winning and I didn't even know how. I got a lot of lucky moves and oh my God for the first time in history I won a game of strategy. Woohoo! This was quite possibly my favourite memory.

Our drinking needs work. One of us gets a free pre-lunch drink and the other one gets sucked in for a lunch drink and then we have lunch and go back to the room crawl under the blankets and sleep it off. Then we wake up a few hours later and one person has a drink before supper, one has a drink with supper then go back to the room crawl under the blankets, back to sleep then we get up again usually to do some night entertainment and repeat but usually we don't make it that late.

So I'm up at O dark hundred ready to start the day get off the ship at 8 and it's quite cold outside, unlike like every other day of course. It I have no idea if I'm going scuba diving because my debit card did not work so we'll see if the credit card does. Also they're full on board so I have to do it off ship and who knows. If it was meant to be, I'll be diving today.

So the same "bitchy male diva" that was giving me grief yesterday when I inquired about scuba diving the night before blew me off and today met me at the dock and said yes definitely we can fit you in and then it when I went back to check with him he was bitchy yet again,  rolling his eyes, saying, "like I toooold you last night, blah blah blah. He must definitely have been on the drag queen show. So for $179 I'm going for a refresher even though my last dive was at the great barrier reef in Australia. It's $10 cheaper than a two man dive so I'm sure I have made a mistake. I went to shore very early and discovered two people have cancelled on the full excursion with the ship. I know I can get it cheaper (you think I would learn) so I go further in and a manager tells me there's no other places that have availability and if I walk into town it's going to take 40 minutes and he has nothing so I turn around and go back and pay for a ship one. 

I kind of came to the conclusion at the beginning the middle and the end this will probably be my last scuba diving but my insolent eldest daughter reminded me I have said that for my last 2-3 dives. Rude, eh? It was just okay. Its dark, the coral is going downhill everywhere and there was not that many fish but more importantly, they seem to be shrinking the wet suits. There were 8 people in my group and all of them had not scuba dived before and I was on dive number 25 so its so silly when they make me do the refresher but I guess it was comprehensive.  I never really enjoyed the 2nd dive which ends up being too much for me.  Glad its over with.

This particular cruise stop crammed three huge cruise ships; Norwegian, Celebrity and Royal all side by side.

My poor roomie, he has a cold and is out of commission.  We went off the ship separately and that was the end of our day together, and a dry alcohol free day. I  can now say, hi I'm  Cathy, I'm  a cruise alcoholic and I've been sober 1 day. 

We did see the much loved Burning Up the Floor dance extravaganza and I must be near the end of my cruise cause I was bored. Beautiful dancing but maybe I was just jealous and regretful that I could count on 3 fingers people in my life who have enjoyed  dancing.

Day number 9, we went off the ship to get Wi-Fi where I had my biggest scare. Going on land, they asked everyone to put their knapsacks on the floor so that drug dogs could sniff them. Coming from the newly legal cannabis of Canada I was most nervous.

We  tried to educate a local that the best way to advertise his bar was not to tell people at 9 in the morning "come in and eat, drink" because we can get those for free on the ship and have just eaten but rather call out, "free Wi-Fi" because we're all starved for it.  He tried it twice and then he gave up.

Jerry and I parted ways and I went to walk along the boardwalk and it was like Jamaica all over again. If you walk in the shade that's where they all are picking and pecking at you so I crossed the street to the high sun by the boardwalk and kept walking. At some point I stopped to read my book and I heard my phone ping; good grief I forgot to turn off the Wi-Fi. I'll be paying for that one I'm sure. Came back to the room and he was sleeping so I lay up by the pool for another lazy day.

He left and I'm decided to do some balcony sun tanning privately if you get my drift. I made sure I had a proper cover up available and I left the door open a crack so I could hear his return and not shock the poor man. After I finished, my eyes were not adjusted, saw that he was still gone and went to drop my towel until a man's voice came 3 feet from me. He was sitting in his bed and I didn't even notice. That could have been extremely embarrassing for me. Guess I'll have to find the clothing optional place someone spoke of that nobody seems to be aware of. There's a lot left to do in one day and crisping up like bacon is on the list.

I was looking around the room at stuff maybe I haven't noticed and I noticed a stack of papers on a shelf on the far wall that we probably should have read on the first day. The first page was the lighting in the room which drives me absolutely insane and had we read this we would have saved ourselves some grief. At some point I went down to pay off the bill at guest services and ask them about a ship map. Again good grief, had we had this 8 days ago I would not have wandered  this ship lost constantly.

Went to supper alone a bit later and joined another couple. We talked for awhile, bonded over only-for-us guacamole and after the meal found out we were all from Orleans, a stones throw from my house. She's actually going to sign up for my paint classes and maybe  bring her girls and her husband for a private event. Small small world so I gave up my second marketing postcard of the cruise. Oh the business I could have had from this trip. 

Tried to stay up for the glow show but it was 10:30 and I was bored. Some said it was boring but they danced enough to break the pool cover so the pool was out of commission for the duration of the cruise. Saw a competitive couples comedy show game which ended up being more racy and pretty funny.  Listened to maybe one minute of lounge music at the Duelling Piano bar until my head clunked in a dead sleep at my table, my loss for not staying longer, then went to bed.

Last day on the ship date number 10. My roomie started to cough, poor thing, but the real victim, as we all know is me catching this male Typhoid-Mary plague. I plan to do rock climbing and repelling today and maybe play some billiards and poker but I sported a dull headache, no not a hangover, and slept a bit myself. What my headache didn't cancel, the gale force winds threatened to take care of. I will find that elusive clothing optional sunbathing to get that last minute tan all over. I will drink and over indulge to maximize the final day because it's back to Ottawa and the snow and the cold and taxes tomorrow and if I'm really really lucky I will escape unscathed by the man-cold to find my house intact and ready for business.

Gale force winds but that just means windy and comical to walk on deck... and sadly no rock climbing. 

I researched the entire ship and no hidden sunbathing stops. My regular Adult only hot tubs contains at least two people so annoying that I have to get out. Sporting a dull headache since I woke up and I realized there is music everywhere.

Went to my first Brazillian restaurant and I loved it- mostly Mediterranean. Gambled but not going home a bazillionaire. Drank exactly one drink and was in bed by 8:30. I'm a pathetic party animal unless I compare myself to Jerry who never left his bed, poor thing.

Day#11- flying out today. My flight gate was changed, how annoying until I realized the people at that gate had theirs cancelled. Shortly after, I was offered a free aisle emergency exit seat and then learned that a man fell from a hotel at the airport and they cancelled 45 flights and delayed 97. Holy crap. I can say I honestly got lucky in the airport...not the Mile high club sense....more like the ground zero club because our flight left. Could the flight be any more perfect? A kid puked everywhere near me. Then the lady beside me admitted she was ill for only 3 days, so still contagious. Finally, the landing was so rough we thought it would flip on its side arrghhhhh! I want to be home.

Remember the war and peace Ottawa departure story of the buses?  Same story going home only it was 4 buses with me not having winter boots.  There had been a large snow storm the day earlier and again on my arrival.

Thankfully the last few streets were pretty good but the driveway, well, can't say the same.  Anyway, the house structure is still standing but I made it. Great memories of a trip - maybe the first time in history.  Thanks Jerry.