The Dangers of Buying From Social Media Ads- Hard lessons Learned by Spoiled Rotten B&B

Well this Orleans Bed and Breakfast shmuck has been scammed, yet again, multiple times if we are being honest and I'm writing this to save you from making the same mistakes I've made. I'm not a stupid person. I have a University degree and a College Trade and I have too many years of wisdom but with  online social media, oh, I've been had. Fortunately, like so many of my other gullible moments, I was able to repair them easily so no, all is not lost.

You know what it's like. You are caught in the black hole of Facebook, Instagram or any of

the others and the ads pop up. You know that these sites remember every time you click on something so they know where you're creeping and have gotten inside your head. And it doesn't help that the stores are pandemically closed and we're bored out of our minds.  

                                                                              

Of course, everything I bought was essential, pretty, shiny and I couldn't possibly live without it.  A few items were impulsive, ok maybe 90% of them, but one was very well-researched  and over the course of many days I would finally take the leap and then forget about the order arriving.   

   

First I ordered some Accupressure pens that would be a great addition to my wellness theme at the B&B. and I waited and waited and mostly forgot. One day I followed up and they said, "we apologize but are out of stock. How can we reimburse you."  You can't, I want the pens and I will wait as long as it takes.  Nope, this darned legitimate company with morals would have none of it.  They were giving the money back, curses.  Little did I know how rare that is. 

I was daydreaming about receiving my latest find and that's when the sh*t hit the fan, It was 

a fabulous four tiered wood shelf that turned into a table (for only $44 USD/ a billion Canadian), when I realized I hadn't had any communication with the company in awhile.  When I looked up their company name, there was only one confirmation email saying, and I will paraphrase, "thanks alot sucka for your hard earned moula; we'll let ya know when we ship it out, aka, get as far out of Dodge or close to Mexico as we can".  Grrr.  That seems like a bad sign so I called my credit card Chargeback department for the first time.  The man was wonderful and immediately agreed to credit my account.  Can you imagine?  Even without proof!  The reviews were all saying the same thing.  No one received it.  While researching, I found a scrappy list of other purchases I had made and tentatively asked the Chargeback guy about the next purchase in line.  

All of my purchases came from social media for old people.  Now imagine this... every time I click on an ad, they get the next puzzle piece to my twisted psyche and learn what "turns my crank".  When you think about it, that's frightening.  When I want to screw with them, I click the link, and get all the way to pay then exit.  They will pester me and often add a discount.  Brilliant right?  I know! But by then, they know me and who is going to get closer to the front of the line to  screw me over in a game I was never going to win. 

The next beast had sent me a gorgeous picture of a plant that was rainbow coloured.  In my

garden it would have been magnificent.  I had to have it to be better than the Jones, which was pretty easy seeing as I am the only one with flowers on my street.  After I paid, they sent me a one time only 5 minute impulse buy to get the second plant for half price.  OMG I must have that too.   Damn this pandemic, I only have the strength to press yes and then I began the impatient wait.  Sadly, the confirmation 'it's on it's speedy way' told me the seeds would be arriving soon.  SEEDS????  WTH!  Can you imagine gullible me waiting for two dead plants to come in the mail during a pandemic? Sigh, I know.  I ordered Feb 3rd and had had a number of contacts saying on Mar 24th they were in Canada, (probably stuck at the border since they were from Covid country China) even though I was assured by them that they were disease free.  My hottie on the phone said, "No, we are charging back.  You should not have to wait that long, my princess".  Well, that is what I heard.  Now what could be next on the list for him to fulfill my dreams. 

The next one was very tricky.  It was this unbelievable find, and heavily researched, 64 gb photo stick which claimed to find and store 60,000 photos; even Best Buy couldn't do that.  I finally bought two, back in November of last year- one for me and one for my daughter with twins; didn't want her to lose her photo memories again.  This gift could outmatch all the crappy ones I'd ever bought for her and she would bow down at my feet begging forgiveness for being so ungrateful over all the other near misses and colossal failures.  I am the world's worst gift giver buyer I'm told but I do try.   It wasn't until I pressed send that I realized, the one the company advertised was for laptops but  all she uses are cell phones, and I had purchased two very expensive laptop ones which I instantly regretted.  Nope, they suddenly didn't speak English unlike the ad. Couldn't do anything and I received many unintelligible emails explaining I was screwed and the parcel was almost at my mailbox from China, after I had just pressed send.  When I received both, because it requires some reading of manuals and technical skills, I put it aside and forgot about them, knowing tho that someday, this USB would be saving the world from lost  memories.  I brought one to Australia in March of this year but could only use it to save some of her pics manually.  So BMO dude told me that since it was technology, I was basically screwed as I only had 48 hours left to prove it was faulty .  I pondered and thought, if I can try to figure this out, I still have 48 hours so he sent me a form and if I could get one semi-credible clerk with a business card to say it didn't work, they would accept it and reimburse my $133.   Stop gasping, like you have never been smoked before. 

Here's where it gets harried.  I'm going to go to Best Buy but my favourite IT dude/saviour said he would look at it remotely.  Unplanned sleeps were had , we lost 24 hours and we were down to the wire.  We got started and had I taken it to BB, they would have found nothing and charged me too much.  He worked on it for hours and after revealing that I had started uploading all my pics onto one, and it was full around 7000, dude Jim told me maybe it was a counterfeit USB claiming a huge capacity but bogus. If it was a fake, they claim a greater capacity and if you try to reach capacity, it starts to override your initial pictures and corrupts them.  Now that's rude!!! He ran the tests and indeed, as always, he was brilliantly correct.  I filled out the forms, needed my neighbours to fax it off, got invited in for my first drink with them in 20 years, and got it all taken care of.  I was thrilled.  Nothing I hate more than someone pulling a fast one on me.  

I have two more items to deal with.  One is a knock off FitBit watch ... so technology that needs to be dealt with.  It's a new arrival and I'm pretty sure I saw very bad reviews for all the other knock off watches with different companies when I was researching my other purchases.  Most of the stuff on social media seems to be coming from China and is very questionable.     I think I can only go thru Amazon going forward or better still, find it on Amazon, google the company name and go there directly so they get 100% of the money.  Oh the things I have learned and must remember.  

My biggest embarrassment is knowing I read 165 reviews and realizing that the reviews on the ad are not the same as reviews on Google even though they seemed soooo convincing.  When you've been had and start to research the company, this is where you are faced with your lack of true due diligence.  They are not the same reviews and it seriously never dawned on me that they would be different.  Luckily for the company, I'm not the only gullible noob on the planet. Also, they have a 30 day return policy but it comes from China and thru a pandemic.  I didn't have a chance in hell and they knew that. Hiney's were covered. 

My last purchase is still en route and if it arrives, it will no doubt be exactly as it was advertised and be beautiful.  Rainbow window film that fills your house with so many colours.  I will let you know.  

So the big take away is this:

1.  Buy, if you must, on social media BUT first google the company and read the reviews on Google for your product and other products they sell. Do not rely on the Ad fake reviews.

2.  You have exactly 100 days to complete a chargeback if something is delayed, (even with Covid), or not working.

3.  If you have something with technology that doesn't work, if you get an outside source with a business card, at minimum, you just might get your money back if you can prove the item is faulty.  

After typing all this, guess what happened.  All of my lousy purchases were charged back successfully and this underdog won.  I did just see this rug on Facebook and it's so cool.  Everyone on the ad loves it....now where did I put my credit card?  

   

THE WORKSHOP LADY FIGHTS OTTAWA BYLAW

I have hosted a lot of workshops to pay the bills in the off season.  Some of these workshops have one attendee, and some have had 25. On one of those more hectic of days, one of my  neighbors called Bylaw 

about the cars then bragged to my next door neighbour. He was perfectly within his right to do so because the street was full of cars for a few hours. I sure wish he would have talked to me directly because this one call impacted my business greatly. If you've ever read the book The Five People You Meet in Heaven, he is one of my five people; changed my life more than he could have imagined and he has no idea what a can of worms he opened, nor does he care. No longer could I live under the radar, trying to keep everyone happy.

This  notice from by law really threw me for a loop and filled me with fear. They weren't warning me that I would get a ticket on my car because there was no car past three hours on the road. Another fear I hadn't considered is that I would receive a large fine for doing something I didn't know I couldn't do.  I figured better to ask forgiveness because if I spoke to the wrong clerk answering the phone and they gave me inaccurate advice, which made me shut it down for no reason, that would be a colossal waste. Whenever I called city hall, I always got different answers.  

The boogey man powers-that-be were getting ready to impact my life potentially as The Workshop Lady.  Planning for the workshops can be exhausting but I do love doing them. My fear was I wouldn't be able to do them any further. On the reverse side if I didn't have the workshops I could finally focus on filling the bed and breakfast. I have boxes of ideas of things I've never done that I should have followed up on but why would I do that when I have the workshops to fall back on and I know they are helping so many people. I also know many people would be thrilled to know there's a bed and breakfast that's more economical than what they've been used to in the area. Back and forth my jumble of a mind went with His Nibs, my neighbour, not giving a rats ass and pretty proud of himself.  .

I'M NOT BITTER.  Just a few more hairs from his brush and I will have enough for a pin cushion doll, voodoo that is!  Mwahaha

I know if I have to shut down the workshops, it will strongly impact a number of other people including the church lady who holds her meetings here.  I love those meetings but if I can no longer host them they will have to be moved out of my home. If I could no longer host her, I could be going  to the church and fully participate but more than likely, she will semi-retire from this gig and that makes me sad.  For the Paint Nites, I could become a mobile paint Workshop lady instead of doing it in the comfort of my own home but that is a massive amount of work.  Oh my head is a jumble trying to figure out all the computations, pros and cons. What is the universe telling me?

I wouldn't have to deal with Meetup cancellations and no-shows  anymore and that would be a relief. People suck when they sign up and no show, some even on the same day.  I finally started holding people accountable and making them prepay and that made my life a whole lot easier. The irony that, now that it's gotten easier but I can no longer hold the large workshops does not escape me? In the blink of an eye, it's become next to impossible. 

Because I didn't know who it was who had complained; the whole neighbourhood became suspect- like mob mentality potentially. Everywhere I looked, I saw Big Brother, staring and frowning at me. I got paranoid. I cancelled my biggest workshop that I'm most proud of. I will be reduced to having tiny groups only. I was furious with this person but then I reminded myself that our biggest teachers are the ones we often resent the most. If I'm going to walk the walk, I better walk the talk.  A kindly neighbour let me know who the offender was and all of a sudden the vice grip on my nervous heart released.

A few years ago I went to every house on my street to give them my postcard to let them know there was a B&B which had opened and might benefit them. One particular gentleman took one look at me and said, "not interested".  Being Canadian, I apologized and said I wasn't selling, just wanted him to know about....I'M NOT INTERESTED he yelled at me.  There's no fixing that.

By then I had come to terms with the lemons I have been thrown and I realized that it might be a blessing in disguise.

As an entrepreneur I picture hosting a big Workshop makes me feel successful but I don't get to join in on the fun. Smaller ones are a lot more slap happy and we can chew the fat and get more intimate conversation going. I have now stopped advertising as much and people are still coming and hearing about it. It also frees me up time to cook less and even attend my own workshops. Today I got to go to Trish's mosaic broken glass art because I wasn't stressing about workshops. http://merakimosaics.ca/.  That was a blast.

As a goodwill gesture, before I knew whom I'd angered, I decided to host a free Street Paint and Sip for up to 16 families. I sent out the invites, cooked a lot, chilled wine, made hot cider and waited for RSVPs to come in. Unfortunately, even without the cherished positive RSVP, you still have to be prepared, just in case. Alas, no one showed. I knew in my heart before hand

that it would be a flop so I had invited a buddy to paint with and we had fun. Never have I more seriously considered moving on that very sad day.

Should have done this weeks earlier but finally made it to the Bylaw office and spoke to the most wonderful lady ever.  I never worried that anything I told her would be used against me as she was retiring soon and had seen it all. We talked about parking and building a front deck, hosting parties, Puff and Paint Weed Classes, and flowers. She knew every thing and every body.  She told me to build another parking spot but NEVER to the road....as I noticed on her map that every other neighbour, including the tattle tale had done. Verrrrrry interesting. Golly, I hope no one calls bylaw on him for that little indiscretion!  

So the bottom line is no man is an island but rather I must co-exist with many neighbours and I have to be cognizant of their many issues and eccentricities.  I myself, have none.  While I have had reason to call Bylaw myself, I chose rather to talk to the neighbour, no matter how awkward it was and how much I hate conflict.  

Finishing on a positive note, the pandemic strikes me as having similarities to my predicament which is based on fear. We have to turn around our perceptions of our negative events to extract the lesson, the positive.  We all want everyone to like us and when that doesn't happen, it can be quite disturbing.  As long as I can re-frame these events, everything will work out as it should.  I just have to trust the process.