Family Travel & Accommodations, not in Ottawa, 2018

Traveling with family is challenging at best  but as usual, I take travel to a new level. Question for you- can you call a trip,  "a trip of a lifetime" if you've already been there once before  but it's a new location? Well I had the chance to find out. Back I went to Australia to see daughter, new hubbie and the twin 11/2 year old grandbabies  in Melbourne then Tasmania. 

At 22 hours of flying I realized I only had 15 and a half more when you skip a day.  I did watch a lot of movies Jurassic world, Mamma Mia, Tag, The Game Plan, I Feel Pretty, The Greatest Showman on Earth. That's way too many movies which means the flight was waaaay too long but still shorter than ever in history. 

We did discover something interesting on this plane. The windows are made to turn dark unless you actively press a button to show that it's daytime outside, and then it fades back again- stunning technology and it works great when you set your watch to your destination and it's night time there.

Even with the  new routes direct to Melbourne, it's still a very long way. Had a happy moment at the airport when I returned my cart to find a large forgotten bottle of $100+ 12 year old single malt scotch, in another cart and while I detest scotch, the others were quite tickled.  I arrived jet-lagged, barely coherent, and falling asleep as everyone spoke to me until they kicked me off to bed in the evening when the babies went at 7 p.m. Next day we were back on a plane  with bambinos,  just the four of us, to go to Tasmania  and drive around  to see the sights.  I'm not even going to discuss the plane ride. This story warrants its own  write up at another date. All I will say is OMG and never again!!

Our first stop were the Warm Springs. Unfortunately it was a chilly day  and the Warm Springs consisted of  a homemade pond luke cold soup covered in scum.  When you cleared the top  the water was a polar opposite from being Warm Springs .  

Disappointing,  but then we went to Cradle Mountain. You take a shuttle bus to the top and make your way down after doing the trails. It was a cold drizzly day and the babies wanted to walk- that was our first mistake. One caught a cold that day which impacted the entire trip. 

We stopped along the way to sightsee murals in Sheffield, consignment shop toys for pennies  and were surprised  when an older man stopped the stroller to speak to my daughter in the grocery store and give palm readings to the babies. They were mesmerized and that was kind of fun especially since he was pretty dead on with a message. 

Then we drove to our final destination of the day, a wonderful Airbnb called Ladybird, run by a lovely gentleman. He makes his own bread which nobody has ever done at an Airbnb I have ever stayed at. He's a gentleman farmer  but I did warn him I stole the last of the bread for our trip  even though I knew he would eat it. It was just too good. 

A mom and baby wallaby that only I saw

He lives on a spread of wilderness where wallabys roam freely and the sounds of the wild life can't help but make you want to jump out of bed in the morning. He had a man cave, a  workshop to rival Tim the Tool Man. I can't even imagine how much work I could get done  there. The log cabin was really cold because we turned off the extremely efficient pellet stove but oh my god I slept like a dream and the sounds of the outdoor world were beckoning me. I could hear the wild birds starting their day and all I could imagine were acres and acres of wild animals which of  course did not transpire. 

Sleep was almost of the dead. As I shared a bed with my daughter we were like chicken rotisserie relatives; when she would roll over I would roll over, when she rolled back I would roll back. And the most wonderful way to wake up at O dark hundred is with a little cherub looking at you waiting to be hugged but this Airbnb fairy tale property with a pool and wild wallaby with baby is the next best thing. Like the many visitors to come to my house who say they've always wanted to own a bed and breakfast, I do feel the same way about Ladybird. It's property like this that just feeds a soul. Rob did say we could stay as late as we wanted the next day but we got an early start; we had a long day ahead of us.

I was lucky this time around in Australia. I did not have to drive. What is a strange experience this time round because I had my NASCAR driving daughter at the wheel (stop rolling your eyes or they will freeze like that) doing the breakneck turns on the cliffs in the middle of nowhere. We saw tons a local wildlife including echnids and wombats and kangaroos and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if while I slept some of them were accidental casualties of my daughter but again, I'm eternally grateful that I didn't have to drive on the wrong side of the road. That really messes with you when you come home. 

We did a brief stop at Christmas Hills Raspberry Farm only to find out it wasn't very Christmassy or a working-raspberry-picking-public farm.  They had a cafe that sold raspberries and it was here I earned my grandbabies' love. Every cry, every whimper, every unnnh (I'm hungry) and you could feed them one of Mother Nature's perfect foods but damn you better be fast or they'd bite your fingers off and God forbid if you threw one out the window in the Fruit Fly Banned area.  

 

Along the way we stopped off at a a ginseng and salmon farm which seem like an unlikely combination. Tried to get the kids to feed the scary thrashing fish or even touch the calm fish and that did not go over well. Tried to walk to the waterfalls and you would have seen baby, face planted on the ground in tantrum mode. We had bought a bag of pellets that really stunk and every time the kids would throw it it would end up right at their feet and the geese would come attack them to eat the food. I think I still went back to Canada with some of that sewage smelly seafood in all my pockets. 

Continued along the isolated Highway with little traffic lots of gravel and white ghostly trees as far as the eye could see. At one point near the top of the mountain mist covered everywhere and it was almost impossible to see, potholes so deep you could hide a child inside them, but I wouldn't.

We arrived at the next bed and breakfast in the capital, the beautiful hilly Hobart. It was another glorious rental of a whole house and our backyard was like The Butchart Gardens in Victoria. Everything was carefully constructed to be quirky, I took so many pictures. I now plan to find broken old wicker chair and replace the seat with flowers that will go through the top part of the Wicker- it was beautiful but I guess you had to be there.  Another early night with both of us passed out on the couch Pizza hanging from our mouths but barely eaten.  We were exhausted and even the mocking of the owner did not deter me from catching up on my jet lag.

On the Saturday we went to the Salamanca markets and shop till we dropped, introducing huge sheets of fruit rollups that they babies loved. It's not a great place to take a double stroller when it's wall-to-wall people but I think the best part of my trip was going to the adjacent city park and letting the kids run wild. There was Scottish band practicing in the park and everyone in kilts and bagpipes. The children were mesmerized and walked right up to the group and just stood there and listened and danced. I noticed people were taking pictures of the band but even more of the two cute little kids.

We went looking for a winery it was closed and we got lost in the countryside farms with countless sheep and cattle, and ended up finding the same Winery on the other side of the mountain and it was open and bought some. 

Also stopped at a cider place with our final destination Randall's Bay Cliffs- an air B&B on the cliff overlooking the beach and very picture worthy. We spent many hours that night competing with who could take the better pictures of the sunset and the cave with the bear maybe inside- she's so gullible but we didn't  hang around too long to find out. I did attempt to drink wine the first night and got two sips in and passed out from exhaustion; the second night, another two sips but I gave up after that. Either the wine in Tasmania is super strong or I was super tired. 

We had been sharing beds every night but at this location it was a huge place and I got my own room and she took both babies in her room. Sweet!

Off a short detour  to buy a platter of oysters for my weird daughter  who eats those slimy things. She was drooling  thinking about eating them on the beach alone. Off to the Kunst pods near the beach. Unfortunately this main floor Airbnb had an upper floor separate apartment where they could depart from the second floor with one of two slides. Of course the babies wanted to go up to slides and that created many problems. We hung out at the beach and while Renee loves the beach, sister Mickey, not so much. This was to be our place to see the Southern Lights Australis Borealis. We did not see them but we were blessed with the biggest sky of nearby stars I've ever seen. You could almost reach up and touch them.  Daughter was able to set her phone for the first time to take pictures of stars and it worked.

We had a gorgeous one hour drive from the pods to the St Helen's Motel unit as there was nothing else available. It reminded me of California with beautiful beaches. It's funny.  I kind of forgot we were driving around an island where most of the water was blue green and the sands, so white.  We had lunch at a Lobster Shack then checked in and the elderly gentleman was nice enough to have given us two beds in the room but we would have to pay for the second bed and also keep the children off of it if we didn't, is he kidding me? I told him no way and we couldn't switch so he relented gave us a blanket to put on top so they wouldn't wreck it and promise not to charge us. I guess I should check my invoice. Lucky for us, there was an adjacent alpaca pen right beside the motel complex so we saw lots of them. 

On the way to the airport, we stopped in the park called Bay of Fires with rusty looking rocks on a beautiful beach.  

So we headed off to the airport to go back to Australia with mountains of luggage, mostly baby related. We pretty much expected to have to buy a new car because it was so filthy but they assured us the car would be cleaned no problem no extra charges- again, I should check my invoice. The flight went badly, more on that later, and we swore off ever traveling again with children. 

It felt great to be "home" and have my own bed and put my earplugs in at night. Love sharing the house with Grandma and Grandpa-in-law; they were awesome company. I do believe Baba Yaga which translates to Grandma Witch, was quite enjoying watching me race around after the kids so she could relax. Now keep in mind that both of our colds and the babies colds were full force so we were dragging our butts. We did make it to the mall at some point, to buy baby flower girl dresses for the upcoming wedding at Christmas. I certainly hope they videotape for posterity dressing the babies in these gowns because they fought it every step of the way the first time, much like the airplane seats. The wedding day should be lively with these two gremlins.

On one of my final days, daughter and I took the metro into Melbourne to see the sites.  She should run the office for navigating strange cities cuz there is no one better at organizing travel.  We walked a lot, shared drinks in the Ponyfish Island Bar under a bridge then off to see the famous painted shacks on the beach and watch the multitude of tourists posing.  Off to a traditional pre-Christmas mini-fondue then another long walk to see the penguins.  It was a hard trek coughing non-stop so we stopped along the way for some medicinal honey bourbon.  

Along the pier, we saw our first penguin and people went so batshit crazy; you would have thought the penguins were all stars.  By the end of the pier, we'd seen so many, it was less mind blowing but they are still pretty cute.  So I did get to see the penguins but sadly not the Aurora Australis.  I guess I will have to plan a trip to Iceland after all.  

Went to stay at another bed and breakfast in Mount Dandenong and it was not so great. It was the only place I worried about bed bugs. Checked out the Healysvale Sanctuary Zoo but like my curse, most zoos only have birds more than willing to strut while the exotics like the platypus, echnids,  kangaroos and koalas kept a lower profile on this hot and arid day.  

Australia Crucified

I had heard about a statue park near Melbourne when I was in Canada and I was very excited to see Rickerts Sanctuary. The statues are created from clay into the trees; it was stunning, somewhat creepy  work by a crazy man done a very very long time ago before my time. The essence of the park is to honour the environment.  The actual walk is about five minutes and it's free but with babies it was a much, much longer stay.

Back in Melton area, we had a lovely dinner party outside and after everybody left and I fell asleep early, I got up realized everybody had gone to bed and it was only 9pm so I went outside and hung in the hammock watching the three quarter moon in 30 degree weather. It was very zen until I heard footsteps and a click and I realized I was locked out briefly.  It was a sad night for me knowing I wouldn't see the babies or daughter and her new family again for another year.  

I'd heard recently that you can tell a trip was good by the reluctance of the traveler to go home.  Unlike most of my trips, this one was challenging, covered by sickness and baby ooze and I would repeat it in a heartbeat.  Also, I couldn't wait to get home for Christmas, and routine and health...which I'm still waiting for.  

These long ramblings are mostly to remind me about my travels when my mind is long gone.

Riverboat cruises are NOT better than MY Bed & Breakfast

Travelling with family to Ottawa and beyond should elicit wonderful memories but I a must be an ungrateful person. I just don't process things as well as other people but when it comes to travel, when I get home I have to process the trip before I can give you an honest answer to "how was it"?  It's been a year now so we should be safe. While most people come home and say oh my God that was a blast, I think of the negative stuff, unfortunately. I travel the world lots to lots of places and now most of those places I can say wow that was amazing but when I got home from that trip, nope.

My latest trip on a Riverboat Cruise from Amsterdam to Basel Switzerland taught me something about myself I didn't know; At 57, I was TOO YOUNG for a Riverboat Cruise. There is no gym, proper walking path covered by the elements, hot tubs, stores, Casino or pool. We could eat, sleep and drink. As you can see, they did lots of sleeping so maybe they are just the right age for the RB cruise but not me.

 I guess I've been spoiled by the big cruise lines which I love.  Done an Eastern Caribbean, Mediterranean, and Alaskan but it will be awhile before I do a small ship again.



On the plus side, I do find that I learn a lot on these trips. I get to stay at bed and breakfast and Airbnb's and I get to steal all their ideas and bring them back to my own bed and breakfast and call it my own. That's good, isn't it?

I especially can't wait to paint a wall in my bathroom with all of the things to see and do in Orleans and downtown. Isn't it sad that the only room in my house that is bare is a bathroom? This guy paid a lot of money but I'm cheap so will do it myself.  I will add that to my ONE DAY list!!!!  I also learned the importance of never letting your guard down as a host  by over indulging or combining pain killers with alcohol. This host had to be poured into his home and it was not a pretty sight, then he proceeded to hit on my bro- not cool buddy; hysterically funny though for future heckling opportunities against my brother......... for life!

When I went to Amsterdam two days before the cruise with my siblings, unlike the locals, we walked everywhere, hour after infernal hour because drill Sargent Diane refuses to cab or bus but the openness of Amsterdam was quite enlightening. The red light district was fascinating yet a little disappointing when you saw the bored expressions on the display of ladies for viewing. I don't know what I was expecting; them cartwheeling with excitement?
We went to a fancy dog park and I'm not sure what my brother is doing but they enjoyed playing there.

 It was interesting to see how open Amsterdam is for marijuana use which when I wrote this was fascinating but now is quite redundant.
I should warn you that this year has been off the charts busy so I couldn't blog.  I'm getting ready to go to Australia again so this cruise blog has to be off my plate before the next one.

The most shocking revelation in Amsterdam was how many people take bikes. bikers have the right of way so if you're walking in their biking path, God help you. They will hit you, not apologize and drive off because you are too stoopid for getting in their way.

The most amazing thing though was how friendly everybody was there. Everyone would stop to help you and look at your map and give you the wrong directions unintentionally. We got lost chronically around our Airbnb. I have no idea how the 4 of us could be so directionally challenged until I realized it was the whole city. Finally after circling around trying to find our "home:", about the 4th time I went in a store and the store keeper left his store and walked us home for 15 minutes. I can't imagine anybody in Canada doing that and we're supposed to be the friendly country.

It was interesting to do Christmas markets and Windmills within days of each other.  We specifically booked our cruise to see the Christmas markets. Naive me, I pictured all along the Rhine all the trees aglitter with Christmas lights and maybe different Santas along the way giving us stockings full of swag...

I guess it's no worse than the agent booking our elephant sanctuary with the baby elephants in Thailand and telling us they were so cute to hold.  Both my gullible daughter and myself pictured ourselves carrying the infant elephants in our arms.  Imagine our horror when we saw the baby elephants and realized they weighed a ton, literally but I digress.  We are gullible, let's just leave it at that.



So, when we reached our port, the free, included tour would take us to a Christmas Market and the first one was magical. The second one was an exact replica of vendors and items just a different city. It was just one flea market after another and all identical except for one place that put a skating rink downtown and lit up the ice. So beautiful. Every city should do this.

The narrow lock for two ships

I learned more about boat launch and ships that I probably wanted to. The ship's Captain is in a raised box near the front of the boat and every time they would go under a bridge, the staff would vacate the Box and the box would sink down into the boat. That's a sight to see as is when the boat passing alongside another freighter in a lock and it really doesn't look like they're going to make it but thankfully they always do even if it is with only an inch between the concrete walls and the competing for space boats.

There are lots of castles lots of markets and a bazilian churches. Oh my, I thought my siblings would string me up if we visited even one more sacred landmark and lit one more candle.   In Cologne we stopped off at St Peters and it was magnificent. The day was dreary the weather was cold the church looked dark and haunted but when we circled the city and came back, it was empty of congregants, suddenly the sunset lit up the church like it was made of solid gold. It was glorious and totally unexpected. What a magnificent structure that 20 year olds built years ago. The sunburst lasted about 2 minutes until I could take my photo but that two minutes was priceless!

There were so many castles to see in Germany but only two actual port visits.  In Koblenz we went to the Marksburg Castle which is hard to believe people live there, it's so wild. They had a torture chamber and off the kitchen, a turret with a hole in the ground for people to poop while they were talking to people who were eating. I guess I wouldn't want to be the one walking under the turret when the urge hit someone from above.

This beautiful castle was one we saw.  Everyone was trying to get the best pic but no one had an ariel view like I did.  Best pic of the day and I lorded it over all the other travelers and agreed to take them to the most magical spot.  I took them to the tourist marketing photo that I had snapped from the frame.  Oh, my name was dirt but laughter is so good for the soul.

Heidelberg castle was bittersweet for me.  I'd been there 30 years ago with 100 US male army soldiers so this time wasn't as magical and they closed off the interior tour as well.  Hard to compete with my first visit when I was young and foolish.

What I wasn't prepared for with this Christmas Market tour because late into the month of November was cold. There wasn't really any snow but we were chilled to the bone quite often. One day I counted 11 layers of clothing on me and when that day ended I recycled the clothes to a different layer on the outside and a different color. I felt a bit like a homeless person.

The Black Forest Area was surprising to me. We took a long included bus tour out to the black forest which was very deep in snow. There were workshops on black forest cake making, cuckoo clock and glass blowing. We almost got lucky and got to take home a $13,000 cuckoo clock when my brother stumbled but he recovered altho I'm sure his heart was ready to go into cardiac arrest.

Met a lovely lady from California who had never seen snow so I suggested she do snow angels and also stand under a heavily laden eaves trough with a ton of melting snow while I took lots of pictures of her but alas it never did fall on her- I was poised ready just in case. Don't judge me.  Everybody wants the perfect action shot.

Upon our return we had to walk to the three corners of France Germany and Switzerland and have numerous pictures taken. Someone said it was not an easy place to get to; they would be right.  It's an even more difficult place to find. I think the gods finally shook their heads and just moved the 3 corners to where we were wandering 'cause we never would have found it on our own. Quite possibly this wasn't even the right monument but just give it to us.

We're such fancy travelers, we had breakfast on the ship in Germany lunch in France at a boulangerie/deli then walked back into Switzerland to catch a tram to go into Germany shopping and take our picture at the 3 borders.  Poor Tom with his bad feet and I made us go from country to country to country .  

Back to the boat- because there were four of us and we would arrive often late for dinner we would have to join other tables but not on the night of the Captain's Dinner because they ran out of seats. We had to sit in the lounge by ourselves like lepers. We met some lovely people from Arizona and North Carolina, all over the place. They were all interested in hearing about my bed and breakfast but as of this date, I have yet to see one of these people.  
Hindsight helped us realize too that if we didn't cheap out on the rooms, maybe we wouldn't have noticed the smell of sewage either down in the lower level where we were located and outside on the walking deck. If you wait a year though before you reminisce, "it was the best trip ever.

Switzerland is amazing. We had an Airbnb on the Swiss German border near France.  Switzerland is pretty cool because they have mobility passes which makes tram travel free to travel anywhere in Switzerland as long as we are staying here as a tourist for a couple of nights. Ottawa should consider that but I guess they would lose money.  And I'm sure like in Heidelberg, where university is free, we are not going that route either. There is a place that offers new kinds of schools where one day they speak French, one day German, one day English... Isn't that a fantastic idea.  We think we are so progressive.  Doesn't matter, I love to travel but I love Canada more.

On our return trip, my sister bought a bottle of booze and convinced me to buy one at the grocery store.  She wrapped hers well in clothes and put it in the suitcase.  Briefly, I thought, isn't she foolish.  It will get broken.  I will just shlep mine around in the backpack.  At the security, the lady ahead was questioned about liquids and I smugly smiled that mine were all safely in a tiny plastic bag and then it hit me.  OMG nooooooo!

  My turn, and they "regretfully" took it away, I'm sure for their upcoming Chistmas party. I was sooooo sad.  The trip was a bust.  There was no consoling me and then when we reached the waiting area, it flashed, Flight to Amsterdam for us Canadians is cancelled, not just delayed.  WTF?  We trudged back to start all over again and I stopped briefly at security to say our flight was cancelled, and jokingly requested to have my bottle back and OMG they gave it to me.  Woohoo!  Whoopie!  Was a great trip we were
having. The irony to this story is I used to be a travel agent so I know better and more importantly, I  forget and DO THIS EVERY SINGLE YEAR!  Don't worry, I will tell you about it again when I come back from Australia. Cheers Mate.

Can't rotate the picture to save my soul.

Where to stay in Ottawa after a natural disaster?

Ottawa has been over the top busy for hotel rooms.  The phone has been ringing off the hook for the last week  and I didn't put  two and two together until my guest told me they couldn't find a place anywhere in Ottawa to stay. Now I don't know if I should be offended in knowing that I'm their very last resort, quite possibly the last place on earth they would ever think to call unless we were both the last people on the planet but sigh, yes, I have rooms. I thought I was finished for the year and then I got one call and the next day I got eight and had to turn away so many people away. It was like Canada 150 all over again. 

It was unbelievable to me that people visiting Ottawa would not have a hotel room anywhere but so many others who lost their homes due to the tornado were displaced and moved to the hotels. That left exactly ONE bed and breakfast on the planet, I kid you not, in Ottawa with availability- yes, Spoiled Rotten B&B. Picture us wearing a cape.  Don't think the worst of me for being available in the burbs because it's quite charming here; really, it's like winning the lottery; well you’ll just have to book and see for yourself.

As an afterthought, I don't watch the news but I did see many, many pictures of the tornado after effects and they were heart breaking. I received my local Journal and front page was an article stating while Orleans was not affected there were some after effects. They showed a picture of a stop sign down. I almost killed myself laughing. This is not a competition folks!

The obvious silver lining to me is all this business means I’ll be paying my bills sooner but with every silver lining comes a few rain drops or deluge.  When I went to school to learn how to run a business the organizer introduced herself and said, "Most of you will fail. Some of you will become successful. Some of you become so successful you will fail." My thought that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard but I feel like I'm at critical mass right now. On a daily basis, I get IT types telling me my SEO is bad but for crying out loud, I’m not sure I could take any more traffic even if I fixed it. 

Every time somebody leaves and I have a sanity restoring evening to myself, I get another request and my empty, peaceful house fills up instantly. You know me, I'm not great at saying no or turning down a sob story so I live perpetually like I am selling my home.  Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be able to eat supper from the pot while sitting in your underwear, in a messy living room, and you haven't done your dishes in a month?  Ok, that last part is gross but you are sooooo lucky you don't have to live in fear of the phone ringing and the tornado cleanup happening every single time.  Sure, if I kept the house perfect I wouldn’t have this problem but have we met?    

With all the chaos and back to back 21 bookings in 7 days, my body went on autopilot.  I would get in the car and she would say, “don’t worry, I know where we are going” and would take me to Giant Tiger.  Once in the store, the cart would say “Hi Cathy, don’t worry, I know what we need” and the food I buy every single time I go there would hop in the cart.  Even my Tap Debit card knew the routine. 

Apparently, I’m not the only tired B&YB owner.  The posts from the other innkeeper's on Facebook are getting pretty amusing too. We're all exhausted and getting punchy. Personally, I'm waking up in different rooms with no idea what side of the bed to get out on. I have no idea if there's anybody else in the house. I race from one room to the next only to freeze and wonder, do I have any guests or have they just gone out.  IT’S SO NERVE WRACKING living this way!!!  Having nice guests helps ease the pain.

My favorite gay couple came back for the third time in 3 years. They’re a mature couple and I just love them. This year he called up and said I don't know if you remember me; he's in my call display and I said of course I do and he wanted to come up again and jokingly said he'll bring his wife. It's so cute when they refer to each other as wives and husbands. I prepared the romance room with tons of romantic decor and flower petals. Imagine my shock when he showed up with a woman. I have no idea who this woman is, and how dare she have an affair with this lovely gay couple. It wasn't till the next morning that when I asked him if this was his ex-wife and he looked at me funny and said no she's my current wife. He must have loved the look of confusion on my face when I blurted out, “so you're not gay?” He laughed and said I thought you might be thinking that. Imagine me being annoyed setting up the romance suite and a woman shows up with a man and ruins it. I thought I'd wasted all my hard work for a hetero couple when I was trying to impress the gay couple.  Whatever! They will be forever known as the gay couple in my books and at least I was the entertainment.

Yesterday’s guests worked a trade show and came in at 10pm after already having spent a night here and they apologized for the late hour but really it was nothing because I rarely get to bed before midnight and more importantly, some other guests were coming from Toronto and arriving at 2 a.m. They thoughtfully requested a self-check in so I could go to sleep early but nope can't do that.  Cathy the micromanager- I must know who's in my house at all times, get a feel for them to protect the others so after they arrived, I could go to sleep and then four and a half hours later get up again to start the day for the early morning breakfast departures; no rest for the wicked. 

I realized, a few days ago, when I looked up the last of my bookings on the old school index cards that there were no more official bookings for the year. Now that should have scared me but it doesn't because it’s the end of the season, I’m pooped, and more importantly, after four years of being in business, I realize that I'm not a destination; I'm a last-minute booking place and October always ends up being very busy. Well before I could get that thought out of my head I had received another booking and another and another. I'm now booked into the New Year, and throwing a family the best ever Christmas stay they will not find anywhere else on the planet.  I do love Christmas and that’s good because we got snow today and I’m fighting the urge to decorate.

  

If the season truly ends, I might just sleep for a few months to get caught up… no wait.  That isn’t true.  I’m going to see my 1 ½ year old identical female twin grand

 -monsters in Australia soon and I think they are going to kick my butt.  I’ve never been around them for longer than a few hours; they bite and scream and run everywhere and really don’t verbalize more than a few words. I don't know which Sybil I am going to get...happy Harry Potter girls or crying tazmanian devils.  Poor Granny is not going to get her daily naps. I remember when they were tiny babies and just pawns in my photo sessions.

I must post and run.  More musing to come now that things are coming to a snail’s pace. Thanks for coming out.

Diner en Blanc Ottawa and the Excitement of this Orleans Bed and Breakfast Owner attending

Well,  I knocked another bucket list item off this weekend past. A year ago I heard about this concept called Diner on Blanc and it seemed very unique so I happily gave them my name. Apparently I signed up in the year that they decided not to hold it. The previous year 2016, they had 700 people and this year they had 200 so when they contacted me this year I was excited. I tried to sign up but you have to have a date for this;  male or female. I started asking around but everyone I know on the planet was busy.  And word to the wise, if you tell someone you are inviting, you will inevitably get a "Oh, so I was the last person on earth, was I?"  You don't make that mistake more than 8 times.   I resigned myself that I wasn't going and then I remembered one more person she said yes, yay!   I signed up and found out registration was now closed.  Nooooooooooo!  After writing a whiny, begging letter inquiring if they could open up a few more seats, it worked and we got in!!!

Now, most people had prepaid, pre-ordered their wine, pre-ordered their catered picnic baskets, their tables and chairs months in advance so they could just walk on the site. When you get in at the very last second you have to plan everything and of course,  everything must be white and you are the pack mule to lug all your uncoordinated furniture and dishes. They also have another stipulation no plastic no paper no colors. Do you have any idea how difficult that is to abide by. The food can be any color thankfully but to bring things in they have to be in a fully glass container or all white which is near impossible to find without having to spend money. We took a chance and deviated a bit praying they would not publicly shame, tar and feather us and vote us loudly off the island of this secret location.

Everyone dresses entirely in pure white, no colored bling accessories allowed. Most people I know don't own an entire white outfit with white shoes, white hair pieces, white jewelry unless maybe it was covered in sparkle from their disco days and they would have fit in marvelously had they had the foresight to keep their outfit and still be able to fit in it.  Normally I would have all white but alas the dryer has shrunk most everything I own. A few trips to Value Village and Salvation Army pulled together an outfit on the day of departure. Of course now I've added another job to do my laundry and ironing before leaving because everyone knows, you must wash 2nd hand clothes first. So much to do on D day. 

I dressed suspiciously like a man with a fedora- story of my life. It seemed like a really good idea at the time.  Every Halloween and dress-up party, I always leave saying never again will I dress like that. Every woman that went looked glamorous dressed in their beautiful white dresses and hair clips and high heels and there's clumpy old Cathy with a unisex hat and flowing white masculine over shirt.  Why on earth hasn't anyone recommended me for a fashion disaster reality show??????

 

Oh, and I had overnight guests whom I had to prepare their welcome snacks and clean the bathrooms and the bedrooms and vacuumed all the floors, you know usual stuff that the rest of you do every single day of your lives when you're selling your house. Luckily they wanted to arrive early but did not make it until 1:30 which was my departure time. More rushing.

  

While preparing for guests, I also needed to whip together a fancy little shindig of food. Couldn't find a white picnic basket and did not want to spray paint my wicker one so I found a huge white purse that was perfect. 

Shhhh we needed to bring booze but it's not allowed so we used alternative bottling and nobody cared. The only thing they cared about when I arrived was that I have a small glass liquor bottle that says vodka on it and I use it for my water. It's ironic and I like to bring that to church and drink from it as well. They asked me to put that one away in case the liquor board crashed their event.

So my friend Mariette and I drove to the meeting location point in Orleans for our group to board the school bus to a secret location which we placed bets about on the bus; possibly Lansdown, Victoria Island, National Gallery and The War Museum. The bus took us to the Rideau Falls, so we were all wrong and we set up to have a secret party.

On arrival we realize we be sitting almost overlooking the falls, near the Ottawa River perfect view of the sunset and around the corner from the finale of the casino fireworks - a perfect night no doubt- all glamorously formal.  

Set everything up and realize I'm painfully unprepared for the event. Where we packed a single white plate and silverware others packed multi-layered plates twinkle lights high above their table centerpieces with Christmas lights, multi-tiered order platters full with desserts and snacks and Main Course. Absolutely gorgeous. 

Cameras flashing, videos taken, napkins swirling commenced the beginning of the meal. 

We sat at a table of about 10 or 11 people. I jokingly commented at the perhaps Lebanese threesome who had a feast in front of them how lovely everything looked and they had enough to share for the entire group so she stood up and started sharing with the entire group.                                                     How embarrassing and                                                             delicious. 

 

The couple beside me, it turns out, participated in some social events that I had attended and we were both intimately aware of all the circumstances and how we probably almost met each other a hundred times...such a small world.  There were some lively comedians in the group and I suspect if we had spent more time together we would have realized we had a lot in common. 

There was dancing, mostly women. I was surprised how many women attended this event with a female partner. What a great place for a romantic night out though if you don't mind people sitting one inch from you.

We briefly viewed from the second floor of the Rideau Falls and Terrace until they kicked us off but that would have been a spectacular place to view the fireworks.

 We scored one of the best locations in the house overlooking the Ottawa River and waiting patiently for the fireworks.  Suddenly, I saw a tiny flash and realized we were missing the show.  You could only see it by the falls so there was a mass exodus and we attempted to watch the partially obstructed view.  

What a lovely evening it was, simply magical, wish you had been there.

Battling the beasts - Raccoons and Japanese Beetles in my Organic Garden at Spoiled Rotten Bed and Breakfast

Awesome way to start the day, standing here in my bathrobe, not at the spa but rather in my backyard collecting my Harvest.

I've got spaghetti squash growing All Over The Back
Fence, hanging like living growing (albeit ugly) artwork
waiting to be groomed or picked.

Would show you grapes but the family of three raccoons are very well fed off of them those rat bastards. And lately, every morning I have to go out and flip over the sod that they have rearranged when they are looking for bugs. My grass just cannot grow like this abomination and it was doing so well with three layers of sod upon the other. Really. Damn varmints saw it as a triple layer of hors d'oeuvres on a platter. When I sit at my table late at night, and I look outside and see the white twinkle lights jumping up and down in the trees, I know I have visitors and it's time to read them the riot act until these unwelcome squatters vacate the premises. They refuse to read the eviction notice and I know they have no intention of paying rent. They might as well be teenagers, eating all my food, refusing to work, and threatening me when I tell them to shove off but even with their dangerously long claws, I'd probably rather wrestle a raccoon than an ornery teen.

And don't get me started on the Japanese Beetle who has been eating my grape plant out of house and home. They have skeletonized all the leaves so the raccoons can easily see the fruit. I originally made a spray to kill the bugs and stomped them until I learned they send out a pheremone when killed to call others to come visit. Now I start every day with a ziplock baggie and pop the monsters, who are usually having group sex and way more than I am, into the bag while they luxuriate or are furiously doing their business and too occupied to see me coming at them. Victory!

Every year I buy too many tomatoes and now I've got 18 tomato plants and they are beautiful.

It's always so nice starting the day with vegetables fresh from the garden and herbs. Yesterday I was cleaning a tomato and I started looking for the tag from the store and all of a sudden I realized oh man, these babies are fresh from the garden, and don't come with a sticker. 

Salsa is my favourite thing to make.  My tomatoes are all coming ripe and I gathered up a bunch of them and made a fresh salsa for my newly arriving guests. I put it on the table first day but no one ate it.  Tried again the second day; nothing touched.   I mentioned it to them before they left and one of them admitted they didn't want to use it cuz it hadn't been opened yet.  I groaned and said I have 35 bottles in the fridge that I just made for you guys so I sent them on their way with some. Note to self, always open the bottle first. The previous group a day earlier, not only opened the med large jar but sucked it dry.

I've also become a menace to myself and any who eat here, but more so than most times. My first foraging in the forest for edible weeds workshop gave me some knowledge, enough to make me dangerous. I took copious notes until he said Queen Anne's lace looks remarkably like Wild Parsnip which will cause you to break out in boils and pus, burst into flames and probably die. Decided not to take the chance, and tuned out, skipped all that information and want my money back for that lost 5 minutes.

The follow-up class with another instructor was foraging on a farm for medicinal and edible weeds. Now I have more clarity from repetition that all the 6' grass and everything I'm chopping down with my push lawn mower once a month is edible and I'm told it's good for the bees. Can't wait to make a weed salad and not the medicinal weed that's becoming legal soon.

Can you believe how many apple are growing on this five in one tree?  I wish I had a yard full of multiple grafted trees with fruit like lemons and oranges.  Such a conversation piece.  And the raccoons love them.  Hmmmm.  

Just googled recipes for raccoon and holy raccoon,  there are tons.  Brined Bandit and Sweet Potatoes, Cooking 'Coon, Crock Pot Raccoons, Roast Raccoon with Stuffing. It's kind of making me gag but oh I wish they could read this post/threat. They would be sure to run for the hills.  

As an afterthought, for all you menopausal women out there who haven't left your homes because of the heat, You're welcome.  It always happens.  I persevere with the warm nights in the Romance suite and the guests all just say, no it's fine, don't worry.  Finally, I can't take it anymore and I install the window a/c unit and then the nights turn cold and the days cool. I'm thinking of removing it but then, you know what will happen then...more global warming.