Wednesday, 2 January 2019

2019 Musings on Flying Solo vs Alone and Starting Silent Retreats for One

It's what happens every year around this time while I'm out shoveling, doing a blue job. I'm led to contemplate my life and I ask you now to join in my Festivus Wallow aka known as a pity party or a celebration of my  life and accomplishments. Careful navigating this icy path with me; it could go either way. 


I realized exactly eight years ago today I became one; no not born, I guess "born again", baptism by fire into a reluctant world of being divorced, accepting the key to a city I wanted no part of. Some would say single, some would say alone- I guess it depends on my mood. 

And then I realized that now that it is 2019, I would be 59.  Remember when 40 was old and 60 was dead?  Well, I am one year from how-is-this-possible 60 and single.  I still feel like I'm a young pup but with the wisdom we have as we learn to let go, relax and stop judging both ourselves and others. 

Quite honestly it's a little bittersweet seeing others move on in their relationships, get married, take my kids on their vacation while I remain one. Of course I've had opportunities for more relationships but at what cost. Eight years alone, "forced" to become independent and rely only on myself, I have to ask myself if I would like to give up my independence.  I love having the house to myself when it is just me and no guests.  I love eating when I want, staying up til 2 am working or starting on my computer at 5 am.  Do I snore?  Who cares? My married friends all envy my lifestyle and I'm starting to see their point. I still believe the perfect arrangement is a side by side townhouse shared where I get one side and a partner, the other.  It's brilliant.

Perhaps these thoughts happen after yet another first coffee date on New Years and Christmas both  where past relationships always seem to come up and I truthfully answer questions, rehash the lives that used to be. The longer I date, the easier it is to write my version of a dating book..."Dating Expert Advise- Just Do the Exact Opposite of Whatever I'm Doing". Look for it on the best seller bookshelves of Indigo soon.

Over the last eight years I have carved myself a niche into a lifestyle that often fulfills me but a business that is  known too often to close its doors at 5 years due to burnout.  I think that is if you are running it alone and I can see how that is possible.   I've been open 4 1/2 and wonder what the future holds; what will happen next? Will the intuitives of the world be right that it's going to be too small a place for what I want to do? Only time will tell,

Trying out the Chakra glasses


I have a spiritual coven of sisters who support me and would give me the witches hat off their head and their last eye of newt if I needed it. I smile inside as I am surrounded by them once a month, or more if its a good month, and I realize many are at the center because we shared some spiritual interaction first at my place. They are my community, my new family as my old family moves on. We even muse that one day, when all the partners are gone, we will get a community of small houses where we share the duties and kitchen.  

As I move forward, in my heart I do wish my old family well even with them intentionally choosing to not share my path; how dare!. Life goes on, paths diverge and forest grows over the walkways so one is not able to find them again, as doors close forever.

Daughters move away, grand babies who were once the center of your life are now 40 hours away and tiny faces on a tiny phone and the looks on their faces are one of puzzlement and confusion. The heart breaks a little with each call.

Then I lay down for a nap and wake up and the malaise is gone as it always does and I realize in the last eight years it has been phenomenal; I've come a long way baby. Travel and change have been huge.   I have become a confidant and quasi-therapist to many. I have listened to so many in their own fog of sexuality talk for the first time without judgment about coming out, or dabbling, navigating the confusing world of the birds and the bees in times past where no one talked, communicated or shared and experimenting in a freer society. I am not a therapist but  my I have seen lots, more than the average Joe and sometimes all they need is to be heard and talk.

Church at my house


Musical Sound Healing
Celtic House Concert
I've been honored to witness, without judgment, people talking for the first time about their new paths in spirituality, healing and alternative medicines. I've opened my home to so many budding leaders hosting drumming circles, indigenous crafts, energy healing, spiritual coffee shops, creative painting, Tarot, mediums, musical sound healing and spiritual spa days. I've hosted snuggle salons, sex talks after divorce, house concerts, healing with cannabis and non-denominational spiritual church services in my home, often in the same week. Someone said with all the tormented and damaged souls coming through my front door, and there are many, I should smudge but I realize that all of my events keep this a place of healing and warmth and inclusiveness. Strangers comment on it as they walk through the door for the first time and when they come back.










I've had people book Healing Pamper packages so they can get away from the stresses and
torments of their life, after experiencing great losses and upcoming turmoils. They quickly learn that they will be put at ease, can let the stresses go at the door, be listened and leave with a bigger heart,breathing deeply and more relaxed. I love holding space for this.  I think maybe I will forgo the retreats which require lots of rooms and focus more on the individual requiring peace and silence.  (Oh stop rolling your eyes.  I can survive it for a couple of days). Silent Retreats for one or a combination of Silence and Talk- that could work.  

Yes, one door closed a mere eight years ago but so many others opened.  I constantly feel like I am on Lets Make a Deal only I have unlimited doors to choose from.  This is going to be a great year.  

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

Monthly Bookings at a B&B? - Just Don't Do It!

Providing the perfect B&B experience in Orleans can go from happy to ugly in less than 60 seconds and I know all too well.  I could pinpoint the exact moment in time when my business took a nosedive.  It started with the scammers, continued with the homeless man who stayed with me and ran out of money then morphed into the one month family-with-infant booking from hell.  

The latter experience which trashed my well being occurred  minutes before New Years Eve 2017 when I had started my second cold with barely a break between the last, 2-month monkey on my back sickness.  I decided that I must become more proactive on increasing sales in the slow season.  I was finally going to add weekly and monthly rates to my January Airbnb site while working at midnight and sick as a dog.  It was a recipe for disaster but, as always, I am the chef and master designer of all my future train wrecks. 

In a fog, I worked diligently for hours and calculated my minimum rates, forgetting the automatic deductions on my commissions and I changed all five listings to read continental breakfasts only.  Done.  One minute after I activated it, I had my first inquiry, which is a very very bad sign.  They had a 5 month old baby; would that be a problem?  Beggars can't be choosers although I have read literally 1000's of responses from other B&B owners to say NEVER, under any circumstances, take kids but especially babies.  I knew better and I could never tell my group what hellfire I brought on myself for fear they would vote me off the island.  

I confirmed the booking and a nagging idea told me to make sure I had put the note about no large breakfasts for monthly bookings.  Nope and OMG!!!!! They had read the reviews about the amazing breakfast and they wanted what was rightfully theirs whether they bankrupted me or not.  Not their problem as they were young adults and the universe rotated for this couple.

Let's do the math.  If a typical small, unfurnished one bedroom for one person goes for $550 in the burbs, minus the booking commission, I would receive $526...for a month.....but for 3 people?  They were not even being charged for the 3rd one- yes yes, a baby.  Ok, let's forget the baby.  That's about $9 per day per adult.  Now, because I must keep my word, I have to find some way to feed a breakfast  which I lowball normally at $7 pp.  Now I'm making $2 pp daily.  OM freakin' word.  One is a vegan so no eggs, milk, cheese; the staples of every B&B, and sadly, doesn't like oatmeal. I'm probably down to -$5 pp since he, however, prefers meat at every meal. Meat's pretty cheap, right?  So -$10 a day is what percentage of the cheapest hostel in Ottawa going for $30 per bed and no food served.  These guys had found a cash cow.  they had capitalized on finding the needle in a haystack mistake, like the rare Expedia error of flights for under $10 that sell out in seconds.  That is a huge chain tho and I'm a struggling entrepreneur in the off season.  I know, no points for guilt trips.

When the booking error was made, I immediately called head office and was told I'd have to pay a $100 to cancel the booking that had been in effect for 2 whole minutes.  He told me to try to find a way to make it work because if the clients were upset or mad, it wouldn't go well.  Hindsight, I should have fought tooth and nail and won as I'm one a Superhost but I didn't.  Error number... what are we up to now, 1000?

All correspondence thru the online booking agent was strictly French and I'm not great defending myself in another language so any clarification on their part is interpreted as angry requests which makes me nervous. Imagine hosting a family for an entire month and they didn't appear to speak a word of English and they are confrontational- I knew it would be brutal.  Turns out they were perfectly bilingual.  

Now I didn't want to undermine my years of working hard to be a Superhost then losing this heavyweight title.  I explained that I made a mistake and couldn't possibly feed a regular breakfast for this fee.  I would however be able to have on hand a basic continental breakfast of coffee, toast, cereal, milk and maybe fruit, or eggs.  

Having gone thru my write up with a fine tooth comb, she said, "well you wrote no breakfast for longer than a week so you will feed us for a week and after that I only get milk and eggs?...I'm vegan. Is that all I'm going to get?"  My God, we B&B owners hate vegans....it's so expensive to cook continuously.  And I was told later that she became vegan almost at the time of the booking, maybe a week earlier.  WHY WAS I CHOSEN TO BE PUNISHED???  I'M A NICE PERSON DAMNIT.  Oops, I'm yelling.  I've been afraid that if I started to yell, I'd never be able to stop from the frustration of everything. Make no mistake, if I could have someone pay me $10 a day so I could hire a personal chef to cook me vegetarian or vegan every day of my life, I would jump at the chance too. 

So back to the non-existant profit for two of the three guests.  The baby is a freeloader.  I was asked about laundry which makes me leery because my machines are new and I don't want a stranger breaking them and I hoped they would offer to pay per load.  Nope.  Stupid me for assuming.  The load was started, and started and started.  I started to suspect they were running a black market laundromat as the machines were running day and night for 24 hours. In retrospect, I should have hire the baby to work there too.    I didn't find out until later that the dryer vent trap was never cleaned so it was solid with lint, or firestarter, and the washer is permanently stained with dried soap. Also, the baby uses reusable diapers.  What if the poop was not cleaned properly?   I wonder how much electricity and water 800 loads cost running at peak times.  Nevermind, I'm rich, I forgot. 

Then, to avoid my having to cook, I said they could because they were there for a month and cook she did, for an entire day to prepare all her meals  for the week.  It looked like a sauna in my house while the outside was minus 25 degrees.  Not to worry, the stove was heating the house.  I like to keep it at 19 or 20 but there was a baby in the house so now it has to be higher. 

On a more personal note, some of you might remember my rant about germs and being contagious for the first 3 days of a cold.  If you suspect you are becoming sick, I do NOT want to have you sharing my breathing space.  Not now, not ever because I work alone and if I'm too sick to work, the business is going down.  Well, he showed up on arrival with a newly budding cold.  Fortunately for them, I was just in the throws of mine altho it was a very short cold, over in record time.  Then she caught his cold and all plans stopped.  They squatted in the living room surrounded by baby toys everywhere and numerous Kleenex boxes, all now empty, (hmm I wonder how much I paid out in Kleenex) and they never left the building.  Not a problem, I light my fireplace with $20 bills.

I won't clean my house with guests in the house so my house is completely trashed.  I had a workshop the next day with 16 people coming to do Paint Night. In 2 1/2 hours, I would make more from them than I would from 2 weeks of hosting the current ones.   

Did I mention that they both shower ALOT and for long periods of time?  Chaching!

Now don't get me wrong, they are nice enough people but they are very self entitled so they cannot fathom my pain although as i write this, I remember that they do know my pain and just didn't care.  It was cheaper to stay at my place while they rented out theirs and made a profit.  He even told me they once made a mistake like this and had to eat it but it changed nothing.  Gawd I hope karma invites them for dinner soon.  

 I just had a potential guest ready to check in just tell me, "there is a baby there?  Sorry, I've changed my mind."  I wonder how much more business my newfound lottery of guests will cost me.  $100....flush.

It was the busiest solo summer of work I've ever experienced.  I've been sick for two months so all I want is perhaps, a single person renting my room quietly and making their own meals.  Is that too much to ask.  I explained one day I'm thinking of closing my doors if I have to make breakfast every single day, it's that exhausting when you know each meal bleeds away your wallet and each fancy breakfast takes time to prepare.  After the one week of full breakfasts, I sent them a text saying that was your last breakfast.  She started to harp on me and I went ballistic.  Called Head office and they made me an offer to soften the pain.  So rather than let me out of my initial mistake and forgo the $100 penalty, they were going to pay twice that for costs.  Gawd I hated these guests.  

Oh, did I forget to tell you that they all slept till 11am.  I have to have laundry done by 11 am before the rates jump.  Nope, not happening.  They did go to sleep at 8:30 which meant right about the time I would start another load, they would be in bed for the night so I had to postpone to WHEN??????  In retrospect, I should have shut everything down, no laundry, no cooking, nothing but hindsight is a bitter pill!!!

Being the most perfectest damnedest hostess on the planet, I wouldn't flush toilets or drain bathtubs if guests were in the basement because it's really loud but the passive aggressive frustrated side of me wanted to so I could serve the infernal breakfast and jumpstart my day, even tho I've been up since 5:30.    Agghhhh! I now you are both feeling my pain AND shaking your head at my stupidity.

I looked at my neatly folded and displayed plush white towel tower in the guest bathroom and realized it was all gone.  Almost every single towel was wet and it was only day two with two paying guests.  I politely asked if I could wash some of their towels and told, no , it's ok.  So many things I should have done but I don't like rocking the boat.  Forget logic, what do I do if I get even one more booking.  "Sorry folks, no towels.  Hope you brought some from home."

My biggest challenge was either putting the bug in their ear to choose something even more exciting than my place (there isn't and they won't care) , praying for them to realize they are too sick to stay (they love the Florence Nightengale remedies I'm using for my protection) or to suck it up and realize all the benefits of this arrangement.  Ummmmm..... there has to be something.
Ok, here goes....

1.  It was a new year and I had lots of leftovers on me from the previous year.  Cooking vegan could only help my figure.
  
2.  My grandbabies were stolen away from me at their most interesting stage and I have no one to kiss and smell their sweet baby toes...except for the 5 month old who is here (sadly just not the same).  

3.  I used to do unique dress up photography with the other babies and now I have no one to spoil, until now but they didn't appreciate it either.  Sigh!

4.  I was losing guests and money because there was a baby here but I didn't really want guests anyway on my down time.  

5.  Knowing they never leave the house, I can come and go as I like to get things done. 

6.  I'm free to spring clean hidden rooms that hold the horrors of last minute storage and hoarding that may never have been properly cleaned since dinosaurs walked the earth. 

7.  I am fulfilling the dream of a young military couple to live in the lap of luxury before they take off for another adventure. Ok, that one needs a lot of work. That's a stretch for even me. 

So, every time you are having a bad couple of days, re-read this War and Peace journal.  I said I wouldn't ever rent my place for a month again and it's now 2019 and I haven't and won't.  They beat some sense into me and I guess that's good. I guess I better post this because if I have to read it one more time, I'm going to burst in flames.  Thanks for coming out.  

Thursday, 27 December 2018

Traumacare Recovery While Traveling with Grandma

When you've been through trauma as I have for the last couple of weeks, 47 days to be exact, and you make it through, you just look at life differently. These last couple of weeks I've been in crisis care and I didn't want to tell any of you about it. I know you would all understand but I had to do this alone.

You know of course that I'm talking about visiting my twin grand baby toddlers in Australia right? Oh, they change the way you look at life, seriously.  Twins make you be "on" every waking minute of the day and every sleeping hour of the day that you never recover so your immune system is trashed and vulnerable and falls apart so your holidays are trashed and every one after.

Now, full disclosure, when I am with the babies, I know who is who.  One is a gentle giant and one has lungs on her not common with little people but on my cell phone video chat and in photos, I have a very hard time discerning who is who because their heads are itty bitty.  I can only guess which one is which and in the past, it was easier because one always seemed so serious but now that has changed.  Nevertheless, who could think of resisting these irresistible toddlers?

Happy


                                       

















I'm sick...just leave me alone!
In Tasmania, Cradle Mountain in the cold drizzle was a nightmare and the scene of ground zero for the colds; for 12 out of the 14 days that I was with them they were sick with a cold.  When I would pick them up, one would cough in my mouth, the other would sneeze in my mouth and I'm sure when I put them both down, they would race off to the bathroom to lick my toothbrush, ensuring that if they were miserable, so too would Grandma be.  Their's was not your typical horrifying man cold. Rather,think of 2 rivers of gooey slime in a continuous fountain followed by  simultaneously coughing machines who rarely, if ever, stop crying baby colds.  These are much much worse than the average human cold because they cannot say what's bothering them and you can only guess and it's times TWO but other than that, my God they were precious and unlike most other vacations,  I WOULD do it again in a heartbeat. 

The most wonderful moment everyday was hearing one wake up before the other and rushing in after putting my cape on to save the day and give my daughter a few more minutes of sleep while her hubbie snuck out at Odarkhundred to go to work. Quietly opening the door to see a happy face look at me and light up and arms go up in the air and then wrapping around my neck as tight as a baby boa constrictor dressed up as a tiny little monkey. That's my favorite moment in history, my new happy place.


You would think it would be twice a good with two raising their arms but you'd be wrong. That's a lot of extra weight and body misalignment as you put them both on each hip and pray one doesn't scratch the others in the eye and bite the first one and kick the second one and you don't get caught in the crossfire. 




I arrived and had one day to recover with two little girls who looked at me with distrust at the airport but like all  twins, when a stranger puts her arms out to lift them up, their arms automatically go up to hug whatever stranger danger is offering love or food.


My first real night with the babies had them shrieking from 11 p.m. to 3:59 a.m when they fell asleep for 1 minute until it was time to wake them up to catch the early flight out. As a grandma and a mother every nerve in my body is awake when they are awake and unhappy so it was a rough night.  I hated to hear them so unhappy.

Airports used to be a place of exploration and relaxation until now.  We each took one and mine wanted to run up and down the stairs, step on the table to make a phone call on the public phone, play with the vending machine and cry lots if I deviated from her list of unspoken demands. 

 Traveling with children is a nightmare for many people, grandma and mother included. On the plane over from Canada, it was full of screaming babies but knowing how much I missed my grand babies, the sound of a thousand babies encompassed me like a womb knowing I would soon be reunited. There was a man beside me looking so distraught and feeling like it was the end of the world.  Let's be honest, sometime they're the weaker sex. I tried to walk him through it but you'd never have to do that with another woman. They understand. They have been thru it. They have your back but I do think this guy was looking under his seat for a parachute or a raft boat so he could "jump ship". 

When we flew to Tasmania the four of us, it was for a one-hour descent into hell, with Beelzebub and Damian strapped to our seat belts. And then the shrieking started and the trading back and forth and the food trough came out of the suitcases, handbags and  knapsacks, to cram something down their gullets long enough to keep them chewing, but  not enough to choke them and cause even more screaming and hold off the angry mob on the plane. That in itself would rival the most intense of aerobic workouts on the planet. No point in having a shower before a flight with a baby on your lap. The looks of contempt from the young ones and the male counterparts, frightening... mutiny.  You could always count on a woman to just smile sweetly as they remembered their own horrific travels with babies and are counting their blessings because they're not doing it again. There's a statistic that says 89% of travel with toddlers is with the mother; that means men rarely have the courage to attempt this feat, like childbirth. Okay I made up that statistic but I would weakly stand behind it.

I remember a horror story back in the military days when the families were being transferred overseas and before boarding, they all gave their ankle biters Gravol to put them to sleep.  Unfortunately, the flight was delayed four hours and the kids all slept peacefully in the Canadian terminal only to be wide awake for the long, long flight over- every parent's nightmare.  So, back to me being a grandma.

In the beautiful capital of Hobart, the grandma owning the Airbnb had exactly one bubble making lawn mower and one Etch-a-Sketch. What monster landlady does that to twins.  You can imagine the tortures each of the twins came up with to outsmart the other; unfair play and biting was always an option.


We navigated the neighbourhood with the two person stroller but reached
an impasse between mom and the all-knowing grandma.  If we went all the way down hill to the city center, there would have to be an up and there was no way I was working that hard on vacation.  It would have rivaled the aerobic workout on the plane.  Grandma won and I know, secretly, mom was relieved.  I know she will have it put on her gravestone that she would have loved to have done the down-Everest of hills but her mommy robbed her of that honour.
  
I got my own room at the Randal Cliff Airbnb but grandmas hear everything.  The first peep out of them had me rushing to look after the crying one whom I took to bed and let her sleep on my chest -big mistake, huge mistake of the caliber as seen in Pretty Woman. You can't breathe or move a muscle for hours or you might wake up the Beast until finally can't handle it anymore and you toss them to the side and gasp for air, knowing your day has started. 

Food was a huge issue on this trip and of course the lack of ability to communicate.Their favorite word was "Ada  Ada Ada ADA!!!!!!" which meant they were either hungry, feed me, or FEED ME NOW with a look of murder in their eyes. "Um, um, um" seems to mean the same thing too but for a visual, it was either baby birds begging to be fed or Homer Simpson wanting donuts, more more more. 

As an aside, when I returned back to Canada and we talked on the phone, our first cell video chat was weird.  They just looked at the phone and stared, probably not comprehending who the rested, made up lady was, until I said "Um".  Both kicked into life and responded with Um and we went back and forth for awhile.  It was hysterical because I was speaking their language and probably agreeing to join in their overthrowing the establishment.

I did learn that if you are feeding a baby an apple, well, you're stoopid and you just shouldn't.  These monkeys will thoroughly chew it to mince and just when you are patting yourself on the back for feeding healthy babies, they use their tongues and push it all out EVERYWHERE!.  They are merely chipmunks storing food until they can trash your place, the rental car, the stroller, the living room.  Military forces should hire the services of these two ninja chewing warriors to create chaos from the calm.  They did like the dried fruit sheets from the market a lot, as did grandma.

Tried to read them my personalized grandma reading audio book but they would not sit still.  One of the only things that kept them progressively captivated were two dollar store squeeze dinosaurs where when you squeeze them, little bubbles would pop out.  Initially it was soooo hard on my hand to do this but by the end, I had muscles.  So I would squish it, all the bubbles would come up, they would take turns pushing them back in, then I would turn over the mini dino and moves it's mouth like it was laughing it's head off.  Funny for the kids but choose carefullly how you want to spend all of your days.  This was not one way lol.

Playing together nicely?  When did that happen?
Resting at the playground
So just some random kids shots before I sign off on another weird travel but this time with sick kids who made grandma and mom real sick. At least daughter is now cured of the travel bug until the kids get older or we both develop amnesia, as we always do, next winter.  The few times  babies sat or lay peacefully.                                                                                                                                                                             

Tiptoeing across the sand

So happy to see the wild bird show
Alligator rides- they were brave




                                                      Now I ask you a question. Does it make me a bad grandma to love the kids most when they look like this?

Saturday, 15 December 2018

Another Fraud in Ottawa- Learn from my mistakes


Good Lord what have I done? Normally I trust no one.  With so much changing technology, I can hardly keep up and I'm finding I am a victim of potential fraud yet again but did not lose anything.   I reported the errors of my ways immediately but my self esteem is shaken.
The last time was a year ago October with the scammers from overseas.  This time I fell for an online trick as old as the hills but I have damn good reasons for why. I sent in my CRA quarterly money owing. The next day somebody sent me an e-transfer to my cell phone. It's the first time I've received something like that and I thought it was odd but I tried to cash it had some problems and then switched over to my bank app and it deposited no problem.  Last night CRA reassessed my deposit and reimbursed me for an overpayment to the tune of $282 which has happened before but this time, they sent me a refund to my cell as well. 

Now I know I've set it up with them for direct deposit  but it was late and I was distracted and tired. That's how all my disastrous stories start.  With hindsight, I do know better. I tried to deposit it but because it was a new media I had to set it up properly like I did my bank app.  I've done this before but it did seem kind of odd. I put in my debit number as I've had to do many times before setting up my security questions and then it asked me for my credit card number information. 3 times I exited out to see and check if it was a valid email. Finally I forged ahead to see the money was not deposited. Quel suprise! I immediately called my bank and we froze all my accounts and credit cards, bloody hell.

I waited with bated breath for 9 a.m. the next morning to call CRA and have them let me know what I already knew- that they don't use any other reimbursement other than direct deposit. No matter what they told me, it would be bad news.  If it was a real deposit, I'd shut down everything for nothing and caused myself a lot of grief.  If it was fraud, same outcome.  While I did almost everything textbook WRONG, I did not give out my SIN so CRA and the credit rating companies were not compromised so woohoo on me outsmarting the thieves eh?  Don't cheer too loudly, it just wasn't one of their questions. 

I then called Equifax and here's where it starts getting wonky. I just admitted to them that I've erroneously given all this information to the bad guys living in my computer, waiting to kill, crush and destroy me or at least potentially defraud me but with each new company that I call, I have to give them my social insurance number, full name, address, phone number  birthday and so on. It just doesn't seem right. So Equifax put a fraud alert for six years on my account and said they would let me know if someone was trying to open a new account by sending an alert to my phone. 6 years is a long time to have my hand spanked.  Then they tried to sell me more protection which I said I would wait to decide at another date, especially after they got quite aggressive and building on my fears.  They told me to call the commercial Department and gave me the number to make sure my business was not compromised. I called that number and it was just to get my credit rating- made no sense.

I called Trans Union to repeat all the same information with a total stranger and they said every time somebody tries to open up a credit with my information they will get contact me via snail mail and I'll know within 5 days. I think by then I will be screwed and living in a box by the river, won't I? 

Next was the call to the police but to get through to the police non-emergency fraud line is a nightmare. Finally I spoke to the operator and she said because I have not lost any money she could give me the number to notify the police of a new fraud but they were well aware of this one for the last three years so thanks but bye-bye. 

Off to the bank to get a new debit card and wait a week to get a another credit card. I have to notify all of the companies I deal with who get automatic debits monthly off my credit card like CAA, Netflix Etc. And I was wondering what I was going to do with my day today.

People, learn from my mistakes.   Repeat after me- CRA will never contact you or send you money by text.  Don't be tired, greedy, and gullible like I was. Wait till the morning when you're awake and better able to deal with finance and money transactions. Class is dismissed.

Wednesday, 12 December 2018

Family Travel & Accommodations, not in Ottawa, 2018

Traveling with family is challenging at best  but as usual, I take travel to a new level. Question for you- can you call a trip,  "a trip of a lifetime" if you've already been there once before  but it's a new location? Well I had the chance to find out. Back I went to Australia to see daughter, new hubbie and the twin 11/2 year old grandbabies  in Melbourne then Tasmania. 

At 22 hours of flying I realized I only had 15 and a half more when you skip a day.  I did watch a lot of movies Jurassic world, Mamma Mia, Tag, The Game Plan, I Feel Pretty, The Greatest Showman on Earth. That's way too many movies which means the flight was waaaay too long but still shorter than ever in history. 

We did discover something interesting on this plane. The windows are made to turn dark unless you actively press a button to show that it's daytime outside, and then it fades back again- stunning technology and it works great when you set your watch to your destination and it's night time there.

Even with the  new routes direct to Melbourne, it's still a very long way. Had a happy moment at the airport when I returned my cart to find a large forgotten bottle of $100+ 12 year old single malt scotch, in another cart and while I detest scotch, the others were quite tickled.  I arrived jet-lagged, barely coherent, and falling asleep as everyone spoke to me until they kicked me off to bed in the evening when the babies went at 7 p.m. Next day we were back on a plane  with bambinos,  just the four of us, to go to Tasmania  and drive around  to see the sights.  I'm not even going to discuss the plane ride. This story warrants its own  write up at another date. All I will say is OMG and never again!!

Our first stop were the Warm Springs. Unfortunately it was a chilly day  and the Warm Springs consisted of  a homemade pond luke cold soup covered in scum.  When you cleared the top  the water was a polar opposite from being Warm Springs .  

Disappointing,  but then we went to Cradle Mountain. You take a shuttle bus to the top and make your way down after doing the trails. It was a cold drizzly day and the babies wanted to walk- that was our first mistake. One caught a cold that day which impacted the entire trip. 

We stopped along the way to sightsee murals in Sheffield, consignment shop toys for pennies  and were surprised  when an older man stopped the stroller to speak to my daughter in the grocery store and give palm readings to the babies. They were mesmerized and that was kind of fun especially since he was pretty dead on with a message. 

Then we drove to our final destination of the day, a wonderful Airbnb called Ladybird, run by a lovely gentleman. He makes his own bread which nobody has ever done at an Airbnb I have ever stayed at. He's a gentleman farmer  but I did warn him I stole the last of the bread for our trip  even though I knew he would eat it. It was just too good. 

A mom and baby wallaby that only I saw
He lives on a spread of wilderness where wallabys roam freely and the sounds of the wild life can't help but make you want to jump out of bed in the morning. He had a man cave, a  workshop to rival Tim the Tool Man. I can't even imagine how much work I could get done  there. The log cabin was really cold because we turned off the extremely efficient pellet stove but oh my god I slept like a dream and the sounds of the outdoor world were beckoning me. I could hear the wild birds starting their day and all I could imagine were acres and acres of wild animals which of  course did not transpire. 

Sleep was almost of the dead. As I shared a bed with my daughter we were like chicken rotisserie relatives; when she would roll over I would roll over, when she rolled back I would roll back. And the most wonderful way to wake up at O dark hundred is with a little cherub looking at you waiting to be hugged but this Airbnb fairy tale property with a pool and wild wallaby with baby is the next best thing. Like the many visitors to come to my house who say they've always wanted to own a bed and breakfast, I do feel the same way about Ladybird. It's property like this that just feeds a soul. Rob did say we could stay as late as we wanted the next day but we got an early start; we had a long day ahead of us.

I was lucky this time around in Australia. I did not have to drive. What is a strange experience this time round because I had my NASCAR driving daughter at the wheel (stop rolling your eyes or they will freeze like that) doing the breakneck turns on the cliffs in the middle of nowhere. We saw tons a local wildlife including echnids and wombats and kangaroos and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if while I slept some of them were accidental casualties of my daughter but again, I'm eternally grateful that I didn't have to drive on the wrong side of the road. That really messes with you when you come home. 

We did a brief stop at Christmas Hills Raspberry Farm only to find out it wasn't very Christmassy or a working-raspberry-picking-public farm.  They had a cafe that sold raspberries and it was here I earned my grandbabies' love. Every cry, every whimper, every unnnh (I'm hungry) and you could feed them one of Mother Nature's perfect foods but damn you better be fast or they'd bite your fingers off and God forbid if you threw one out the window in the Fruit Fly Banned area.  
 
Along the way we stopped off at a a ginseng and salmon farm which seem like an unlikely combination. Tried to get the kids to feed the scary thrashing fish or even touch the calm fish and that did not go over well. Tried to walk to the waterfalls and you would have seen baby, face planted on the ground in tantrum mode. We had bought a bag of pellets that really stunk and every time the kids would throw it it would end up right at their feet and the geese would come attack them to eat the food. I think I still went back to Canada with some of that sewage smelly seafood in all my pockets. 
Continued along the isolated Highway with little traffic lots of gravel and white ghostly trees as far as the eye could see. At one point near the top of the mountain mist covered everywhere and it was almost impossible to see, potholes so deep you could hide a child inside them, but I wouldn't.



We arrived at the next bed and breakfast in the capital, the beautiful hilly Hobart. It was another glorious rental of a whole house and our backyard was like The Butchart Gardens in Victoria. Everything was carefully constructed to be quirky, I took so many pictures. I now plan to find broken old wicker chair and replace the seat with flowers that will go through the top part of the Wicker- it was beautiful but I guess you had to be there.  Another early night with both of us passed out on the couch Pizza hanging from our mouths but barely eaten.  We were exhausted and even the mocking of the owner did not deter me from catching up on my jet lag.

On the Saturday we went to the Salamanca markets and shop till we dropped, introducing huge sheets of fruit rollups that they babies loved. It's not a great place to take a double stroller when it's wall-to-wall people but I think the best part of my trip was going to the adjacent city park and letting the kids run wild. There was Scottish band practicing in the park and everyone in kilts and bagpipes. The children were mesmerized and walked right up to the group and just stood there and listened and danced. I noticed people were taking pictures of the band but even more of the two cute little kids.

We went looking for a winery it was closed and we got lost in the countryside farms with countless sheep and cattle, and ended up finding the same Winery on the other side of the mountain and it was open and bought some. 

Also stopped at a cider place with our final destination Randall's Bay Cliffs- an air B&B on the cliff overlooking the beach and very picture worthy. We spent many hours that night competing with who could take the better pictures of the sunset and the cave with the bear maybe inside- she's so gullible but we didn't  hang around too long to find out. I did attempt to drink wine the first night and got two sips in and passed out from exhaustion; the second night, another two sips but I gave up after that. Either the wine in Tasmania is super strong or I was super tired. 

We had been sharing beds every night but at this location it was a huge place and I got my own room and she took both babies in her room. Sweet!

Off a short detour  to buy a platter of oysters for my weird daughter  who eats those slimy things. She was drooling  thinking about eating them on the beach alone. Off to the Kunst pods near the beach. Unfortunately this main floor Airbnb had an upper floor separate apartment where they could depart from the second floor with one of two slides. Of course the babies wanted to go up to slides and that created many problems. We hung out at the beach and while Renee loves the beach, sister Mickey, not so much. This was to be our place to see the Southern Lights Australis Borealis. We did not see them but we were blessed with the biggest sky of nearby stars I've ever seen. You could almost reach up and touch them.  Daughter was able to set her phone for the first time to take pictures of stars and it worked.

We had a gorgeous one hour drive from the pods to the St Helen's Motel unit as there was nothing else available. It reminded me of California with beautiful beaches. It's funny.  I kind of forgot we were driving around an island where most of the water was blue green and the sands, so white.  We had lunch at a Lobster Shack then checked in and the elderly gentleman was nice enough to have given us two beds in the room but we would have to pay for the second bed and also keep the children off of it if we didn't, is he kidding me? I told him no way and we couldn't switch so he relented gave us a blanket to put on top so they wouldn't wreck it and promise not to charge us. I guess I should check my invoice. Lucky for us, there was an adjacent alpaca pen right beside the motel complex so we saw lots of them. 

On the way to the airport, we stopped in the park called Bay of Fires with rusty looking rocks on a beautiful beach.  

So we headed off to the airport to go back to Australia with mountains of luggage, mostly baby related. We pretty much expected to have to buy a new car because it was so filthy but they assured us the car would be cleaned no problem no extra charges- again, I should check my invoice. The flight went badly, more on that later, and we swore off ever traveling again with children. 

It felt great to be "home" and have my own bed and put my earplugs in at night. Love sharing the house with Grandma and Grandpa-in-law; they were awesome company. I do believe Baba Yaga which translates to Grandma Witch, was quite enjoying watching me race around after the kids so she could relax. Now keep in mind that both of our colds and the babies colds were full force so we were dragging our butts. We did make it to the mall at some point, to buy baby flower girl dresses for the upcoming wedding at Christmas. I certainly hope they videotape for posterity dressing the babies in these gowns because they fought it every step of the way the first time, much like the airplane seats. The wedding day should be lively with these two gremlins.

On one of my final days, daughter and I took the metro into Melbourne to see the sites.  She should run the office for navigating strange cities cuz there is no one better at organizing travel.  We walked a lot, shared drinks in the Ponyfish Island Bar under a bridge then off to see the famous painted shacks on the beach and watch the multitude of tourists posing.  Off to a traditional pre-Christmas mini-fondue then another long walk to see the penguins.  It was a hard trek coughing non-stop so we stopped along the way for some medicinal honey bourbon.  
Along the pier, we saw our first penguin and people went so batshit crazy; you would have thought the penguins were all stars.  By the end of the pier, we'd seen so many, it was less mind blowing but they are still pretty cute.  So I did get to see the penguins but sadly not the Aurora Australis.  I guess I will have to plan a trip to Iceland after all.  
Went to stay at another bed and breakfast in Mount Dandenong and it was not so great. It was the only place I worried about bed bugs. Checked out the Healysvale Sanctuary Zoo but like my curse, most zoos only have birds more than willing to strut while the exotics like the platypus, echnids,  kangaroos and koalas kept a lower profile on this hot and arid day.  

Australia Crucified
I had heard about a statue park near Melbourne when I was in Canada and I was very excited to see Rickerts Sanctuary. The statues are created from clay into the trees; it was stunning, somewhat creepy  work by a crazy man done a very very long time ago before my time. The essence of the park is to honour the environment.  The actual walk is about five minutes and it's free but with babies it was a much, much longer stay.

Back in Melton area, we had a lovely dinner party outside and after everybody left and I fell asleep early, I got up realized everybody had gone to bed and it was only 9pm so I went outside and hung in the hammock watching the three quarter moon in 30 degree weather. It was very zen until I heard footsteps and a click and I realized I was locked out briefly.  It was a sad night for me knowing I wouldn't see the babies or daughter and her new family again for another year.  

I'd heard recently that you can tell a trip was good by the reluctance of the traveler to go home.  Unlike most of my trips, this one was challenging, covered by sickness and baby ooze and I would repeat it in a heartbeat.  Also, I couldn't wait to get home for Christmas, and routine and health...which I'm still waiting for.  

These long ramblings are mostly to remind me about my travels when my mind is long gone.