Travel and pampering is what everyone wants at a Bed and Breakfast but who takes care of the host. The bigger question is who would turn down a pre-paid cruise with a dear family friend who had suffered a great loss and needed to get away? Certainly not me.
You'd think, by now, I would know the ropes but I'm always nervous about traveling. My housemate, aka no-longer-in-the-will daughter refused to take me to the airport. I'm too cheap for a taxi and Uber confuses me so that left the bus system! The previous day it was minus 40 but travel day was supposed to be only -12; of course that doesn't happen when I travel. When I woke up at 0-stupid-Hour, it was still - 35 with a wind chill advisory and of course I'm traveling in summer jeans. I have hauled my large suitcase to the further bus stop because I knew the enclosure was protected from the wind but of course someone kicked out all the glass.
Another traveler suggested a more direct bus to a different destination so now I didn't know where I was going or what the connections were. I asked an incoming bus driver if the 97 stops where I am and he said yes but hop on I'll get you to a warmer bus stop okay. Bus drivers are so nice. We talk, he wants to show me pictures of his dog on his cell phone... while he's driving, good grief, and suddenly he stops and says wait where are you going again? I told him the airport and I hear, "oh shit I screwed up it's the other direction okay don't worry I will take you to the O-station (which of course I've never used) and its be warmer there and then that'll take you to another bus which would be faster than if I took the original one." This was getting really complicated. Once there after much worry, a gentleman specifically told me which direction to wait for the airport bus and wait I did until I realized he sent me to the wrong place which was warm. Back to the other side of the road which wasn't heated and there were no buses at all. There was a huge accident on the highway and the buses couldn't get through. I was seriously worried about frostbite I was there for so long and missing my flight. 40 minutes later in the frigid air, the bus came and I realized I was only going just to the states so I only had to be there 2 hours early. Loads of time.
In the US airport, one of the first sites to assault my eyes was this and I realized I was in crazy man's county.
Once I arrived in Orlando, the hi jinks continued. There were so many terminals. I got off the plane, followed the millions of people who took the tram to the other side and went downstairs, of course the wrong way to pick up my luggage and go to lost and found to inquire of my missing reading glasses which fell off in the bathroom on the plane.
BTW, have you ever been the last person on the plane at arrival. I was waiting for everyone to get off and suddenly, I was swarmed by non English speaking cleaning staff. They were like locusts swarming over every seat moving at the speed of light to tidy up our messes.
After a bit, the glasses were located and I had to retrace my steps and go back to the beginning only this time through security and the lineup was 10,000 deep. Caught the tram, ran over there and grabbed the glasses turned around and down again went through the tram. Went downstairs to meet my buddy went the wrong way yet again, had to circle around and go down a different place. The whole day was just chasing my tail.
We finally connected and went to the airport hotel and realized we got the last room with a king size bed to share with a half stranger, me. Awkward! We both slept badly. I woke up every hour on the hour, him a new widower and me, just on my own for far too long.
We went to bed at 8 o'clock, you know seniors (58 and 75) and I was up for the day around 3 and 4 o'clock. I've scanned the rat race to find the right person to give us the right information but alas they did not exist. We shuffled, like cattle, from one terminal to the next, upstairs downstairs and finally after given up all hope, we got herded through another terminal upstairs and downstairs to catch a shuttle to the cruise ship. I've never been so lost. With over 4000 people on the cruise ship,I'm counting on 10 days of being more lost.
With the balcony upgrade the rooms are huge with couches and tons and tons of storage. Before I left Canada I just kept packing stuff in my suitcase and I realized I'd forgotten all my underwear and socks so then I over compensated, and packed everything I've ever owned. I have probably for 12 days, 25 pairs of underwear; Ridiculously unnecessary. We got the drink package; probably totally unnecessary too. Another Cruise Line guest from a travel site said if you drink 15 drinks per day it would probably pay off but we each drink only two and we're smashed. It's quite comical and pathetic - we can barely stay awake till 8 o'clock at night which is weird cause I'm not normally in bed until midnight..
I couldn't wait to use the gym and its was magnificent. I could blow off the ports of call just to work out. Or maybe I'll go for supper number 7. At one of my first meals, I saw a tub of mozzarella and just piled it on....nope, rice noodles! You don't make that mistake twice. Also everyday hidden away is a different cobbler with caramel sauce. Yes! That is how I want to be buried.
So our balcony is on the 14th floor and yet there's ocean spray from all the way down there. Oh it felt so nice to listen to the waves all night long with the window open but it's sure high up.
After two days at sea, we were anxious to get off to see the Bahamas, but it was cancelled so it's off to the gym.
My friend Jerry was a forensic fire investigator so I knew he would be amazing doing Escape Under the Big Top, like an Escape Room. Forensic investigator my ass. He was, and I say this with love, just as stupid as I was.
Everyday, we hot tubbed and we also watched the various shows; the NewlyWed game was hysterical, as was the Hypnotist. Finished off in the hot tub again at night and a movie playing under the stars. Doesn't get any better than this.
I read today, "everyone has their own story and a duty to tell it". I like that.
Next stop was the island of Jamaica -Ocho Rios. We just walked straight into town and oh boy have I forgotten how ports of calls are. It was bad! You're at the mercy of the locals wanting to have us use their taxi services and they were relentless, cunning and oh so charming. "Do you want to see the beach. Look at my shop. My shop better, lookie, cheap cheap" and the more they do this and the more they follow us, the more pissed off I get. We were just looking to window shop and get a taxi but I'm not paying $40. You walk off of the entrance and there now down to $30 but I bet I could get it for cheaper (famous last words). What could go wrong with that brilliant idea?
One block more and we were into the inner city, the ghetto and oh my goodness what a culture shock. We were definitely the minority in the sea of very dark. Oh the landscape, the povery and the smells- I could tell from looking at by travel companion that I had made a huge mistake. I think we were both almost too shocked to react; well that is until the local batshit crazy mentally unstable woman started chasing after us screaming, even crossing the road with us, shrieking the whole while. I was getting very nervous and finally we made the decision to take a cab and a near blind man shows up. He's got obvious cataracts with eyes that each look a different way and his teeth have rotted out. He was very lovely but extremely pushy and finally I got the Jamaican brush of, "you don't like black people? If you think you can find your way, go ahead lady." And then the skies opened up and an angel taxi driver showed up. We agreed on $25 for a fast and dirty city tour. We enjoyed ourselves and by the time my traveling companion paid him we're up to $40 anyway. Should have just let him take the first cabbie.
Finally we went back to the boat, ignored all the pushy vendors, "nothankyounothankyounothankyou" through security and I realized I just left my sunglasses in the cab - omg what have I done? My other sunglasses had bitten the dust on the first day. I have to go back and now I have to go do the walk of shame to ask every single vendor that I gave the cold shoulder to moments ago to ask if they sold sunglasses. It took me about 5 agonizing tries until one had a little basket of sunglasses. One was scratched to hell, one was clear glass, one was for a child and then again the skies opened up and an angel reached down and handed me the perfect pair of sunglasses for $5. I hightailed it out of there, got on the ship and after lunch went to use the hot tub again. It's the medical cure for all that ails you and if it doesn't work, the free pool side drink service picks up the slack.
You are always guaranteed to drinks and a show in the hot tub. There are some people that never leave the ship and stay in that hot tub 10 days straight to avoid all this stuff that we just went through. I put my drink down and the waiter came by and said are you finished? When I said no, the older guy beside me said yes she is, take it. The waiter did and I said louder, "no I'm not finished". He told the poor confused waiter again to take it away so he did. I asked "why the hell did you give away my drink?" He said it was his son's and he wasn't coming back. Imagine his surprise when he realized he actually gave away my drink and had to replace it. Oh, I laughed until I realized later that he wasn't on a drink plan. OOps.
So off to the fancy French bistro- we had a coupon with our room for a free bottle of wine. I haven't had a whole bottle of wine in a long time and I was a really feeling it so I got kind of sort of wasted a little. The lovely waitress introduce herself and apologized for something then said she was excited cuz it was her birthday and we talked to her a little bit. A second young lady showed up to fill our water and he asked how old she was for her birthday and she was a little bit confused. Apparently all of them look the same to him and I howled with laughter, yet again. Was feeling a little too woozy to do anything on the ship so we watch movies for the rest of the night and crashed.
On the first day, the room steward introduced himself and over the course of the 10 days, I tried desperately to remember his name. Something like DY Aine but he had an accent and that is my downfall. On the very last day, at reception, I wanted to leave a good review and requested the exact spelling of his very ethnic name........Dwayne, she told me. I'd been butchering an English name all week that he was spelled out but I thought it was just a long name.
Day number 5, we're off to Grand Cayman today with absolutely no plans except to walk the city and probably the rent taxi with another couple to see the city. Love starting my day with the gym.
So this was to be our second official shore day to Great Stirrup Cay, a Grand Cayman Island. We took the tender over for the first time along the shore and realized all the stores are closed because it's Sunday. The only stores open were tourist traps. We walked around, took the obligatory pictures and headed back to the harbor. It was a real treat not to be harassed by taxi, parrot holders, hair braiders .... We went back to the port to find another couple looking for a taxi but ended up going with a small tour van with a small group of Germans. They did not have to be back until 7 but we were assured we would be back by 2 o'clock. Well we went to a rum store to catch a buzz and a city tour and drove away from 7 Mile beach, darn, and learned a lot of history, then we went to the turtle and Dolphins sanctuary. It was
then that we realized she screwed up and left her group there. She told us to run and see the dolphins for about 2 minutes, drove like a mad woman to visit "Hell" for 3 minutes and then back to the boat in time so she could run back and pick up her crew. Oh so relaxing!!! Not.
We can say we went to Hell and back. It is very well marketed because there is nothing to see; all hype. Never did get to see 7 mile beach.
 |
| Hell- just dried rocks |
We were hungry and tired and crashed for the rest of the afternoon. Late supper made it to see the fantastic illusionist comedian and in bed by 9:30 with a time change but really 8:30.
Day 6-another great start in the gym then a crashing defeat...I weighed myself. Damn why did i do that. Shock therapy!!! Said no to a couple of drinks and desserts. Oh when i get back I'm in for some serious change. Why do we justify wickedness when we are on vacay?
Solo breakfast and dined with strangers. He was a chatty one; I see it doesn't make a difference, even in international waters the world over- the men always seem to have verbal diarrhea. She had a headache so there I am standing up in the restaurant giving her an Indian head massage and looking like I'm pulling this woman's head off. I must have been a sight.
Suntanned and hot tubbed again and learned something shocking...1/4 of the ship are Canadians...that's about 1000 advertisements on board and I only brought a few business cards. Damn I'm slipping. Already I'm mentally creating a smaller card for cruise travel. Already I have lined up potential clients who visit Ottawa for sports and business and some that want full house. This is a brilliant market...soaking in the hut tub, first thing they all do is ask where are you from and when a few say Canada, I work it in that I have a B&B in Ottawa, the capital, and they seem to remember the name, even on subsequent visits. Now I'm angling for a way to be called on stage and when I introduce myself to the audience, Spoiled Rotten BnB will definitely grace my lips, perhaps loudly. Oh I wish I truly loved to be the centre of attention in front of strangers because I know it will not happen.
Been reading and moving slower these days- only 4 more left. Have to figure out how to go scuba diving in Belize. Oh I miss WiFi. I'm having serious withdrawals.
Belize tomorrow, Costa Maya then Cozumel, my favourite place for scuba diving. We have a 10pm show tonite that we will never be able to stay up for, I fear. I feel like I've become an honorary senior by travelling with my 75 year young friend. He won't go to the gym with me so I punished him with Combat Ping Pong- every shot is in. Man were we huffin' and puffin'.
Slept way too much but actually made the 10pm show and it was a FANTASTIC show about drag queens, "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" and they came from Australia. This is unheard of; me not falling asleep. I've only ever stayed awake for the Lion King but slept thru every other Broadway musical. Most of the older travelers smiled and said it was fine but I most loved the illusionist and Drag Queen show.
We eat all of our breakfasts and lunches is in the buffet room and there was a young Asian girl there to welcome everybody and get them to wash their hands. She's over the top cheerful, and downright annoying. And she says very loudly, "Welcome to lunch. Happy happy, Washy washy, yummy yummy for your tummy to every single person that comes through the door at least twice a day and there are 4000 people on the board... perhaps so she could be saying upwards of 24,000 times per day. Even the staff on board imitate and mock her. Its like going to the Dominican in hearing the words cheapi cheapie all the time. I could hack my brain out every time I hear it but lots love her.
So two days before I left Canada, the temperature was -40 Fahrenheit and Celsius and now its about 85 Fahrenheit. That's 125 degrees difference. Its hard to reconcile because with me not celebrating Christmas and now I'm doing something different in January I don't know whether I coming or going. But it's sure a good way to go if I had to.
Went yesterday to the excursions desk to tell him the biggest thrill of my life is to go to Belize and scuba dive and he tells me they don't do scuba diving here even though its the second largest barrier reef. We kind of argued for a while and in the end, came to a truce agreeing to hate each other.
Apparently NCL has purchased an island near Belize, outfitted it for an all inclusive and this is the stop,- 2 hrs from the closest reef. All that means is I have to pay for drinks meals and entertainment while I lie on their beach in the sun. Got to see the butterfly house but there were only three butterflies.
Sitting on the deck of our room, in the beautiful sunshine looking at the lighthouse and the white sandy beach and the 6 pelicans dive bombing the water was da bomb. I've had worse days in life. Don't think I've ever been so relaxed and lazy. Had to change the clocks again and I realize that if I was going to try and scuba dive Costa Maya instead of Cozumel I would need to get to bed early and stop drinking.
But just before we went to bed I found another activity on the ship that was on my bucket list of things to do. Play giant chess; more exactly, learn giant chess and not worry about people staring because the deck was empty. So Jerry taught me how to play and its been 40 years since he played too. I tried to learn from my ex once but I was just too brain dead. I had a couple of staff members cheering me on at one point saying I was winning and I didn't even know how. I got a lot of lucky moves and oh my God for the first time in history I won a game of strategy. Woohoo! This was quite possibly my favourite memory.
Our drinking needs work. One of us gets a free pre-lunch drink and the other one gets sucked in for a lunch drink and then we have lunch and go back to the room crawl under the blankets and sleep it off. Then we wake up a few hours later and one person has a drink before supper, one has a drink with supper then go back to the room crawl under the blankets, back to sleep then we get up again usually to do some night entertainment and repeat but usually we don't make it that late.
So I'm up at O dark hundred ready to start the day get off the ship at 8 and it's quite cold outside, unlike like every other day of course. It I have no idea if I'm going scuba diving because my debit card did not work so we'll see if the credit card does. Also they're full on board so I have to do it off ship and who knows. If it was meant to be, I'll be diving today.
So the same "bitchy male diva" that was giving me grief yesterday when I inquired about scuba diving the night before blew me off and today met me at the dock and said yes definitely we can fit you in and then it when I went back to check with him he was bitchy yet again, rolling his eyes, saying, "like I toooold you last night, blah blah blah. He must definitely have been on the drag queen show. So for $179 I'm going for a refresher even though my last dive was at the great barrier reef in Australia. It's $10 cheaper than a two man dive so I'm sure I have made a mistake. I went to shore very early and discovered two people have cancelled on the full excursion with the ship. I know I can get it cheaper (you think I would learn) so I go further in and a manager tells me there's no other places that have availability and if I walk into town it's going to take 40 minutes and he has nothing so I turn around and go back and pay for a ship one.
I kind of came to the conclusion at the beginning the middle and the end this will probably be my last scuba diving but my insolent eldest daughter reminded me I have said that for my last 2-3 dives. Rude, eh? It was just okay. Its dark, the coral is going downhill everywhere and there was not that many fish but more importantly, they seem to be shrinking the wet suits. There were 8 people in my group and all of them had not scuba dived before and I was on dive number 25 so its so silly when they make me do the refresher but I guess it was comprehensive. I never really enjoyed the 2nd dive which ends up being too much for me. Glad its over with.
This particular cruise stop crammed three huge cruise ships; Norwegian, Celebrity and Royal all side by side.
My poor roomie, he has a cold and is out of commission. We went off the ship separately and that was the end of our day together, and a dry alcohol free day. I can now say, hi I'm Cathy, I'm a cruise alcoholic and I've been sober 1 day.
We did see the much loved Burning Up the Floor dance extravaganza and I must be near the end of my cruise cause I was bored. Beautiful dancing but maybe I was just jealous and regretful that I could count on 3 fingers people in my life who have enjoyed dancing.
Day number 9, we went off the ship to get Wi-Fi where I had my biggest scare. Going on land, they asked everyone to put their knapsacks on the floor so that drug dogs could sniff them. Coming from the newly legal cannabis of Canada I was most nervous.
We tried to educate a local that the best way to advertise his bar was not to tell people at 9 in the morning "come in and eat, drink" because we can get those for free on the ship and have just eaten but rather call out, "free Wi-Fi" because we're all starved for it. He tried it twice and then he gave up.
Jerry and I parted ways and I went to walk along the boardwalk and it was like Jamaica all over again. If you walk in the shade that's where they all are picking and pecking at you so I crossed the street to the high sun by the boardwalk and kept walking. At some point I stopped to read my book and I heard my phone ping; good grief I forgot to turn off the Wi-Fi. I'll be paying for that one I'm sure. Came back to the room and he was sleeping so I lay up by the pool for another lazy day.
He left and I'm decided to do some balcony sun tanning privately if you get my drift. I made sure I had a proper cover up available and I left the door open a crack so I could hear his return and not shock the poor man. After I finished, my eyes were not adjusted, saw that he was still gone and went to drop my towel until a man's voice came 3 feet from me. He was sitting in his bed and I didn't even notice. That could have been extremely embarrassing for me. Guess I'll have to find the clothing optional place someone spoke of that nobody seems to be aware of. There's a lot left to do in one day and crisping up like bacon is on the list.
I was looking around the room at stuff maybe I haven't noticed and I noticed a stack of papers on a shelf on the far wall that we probably should have read on the first day. The first page was the lighting in the room which drives me absolutely insane and had we read this we would have saved ourselves some grief. At some point I went down to pay off the bill at guest services and ask them about a ship map. Again good grief, had we had this 8 days ago I would not have wandered this ship lost constantly.
Went to supper alone a bit later and joined another couple. We talked for awhile, bonded over only-for-us guacamole and after the meal found out we were all from Orleans, a stones throw from my house. She's actually going to sign up for my paint classes and maybe bring her girls and her husband for a private event. Small small world so I gave up my second marketing postcard of the cruise. Oh the business I could have had from this trip.
Tried to stay up for the glow show but it was 10:30 and I was bored. Some said it was boring but they danced enough to break the pool cover so the pool was out of commission for the duration of the cruise. Saw a competitive couples comedy show game which ended up being more racy and pretty funny. Listened to maybe one minute of lounge music at the Duelling Piano bar until my head clunked in a dead sleep at my table, my loss for not staying longer, then went to bed.
Last day on the ship date number 10. My roomie started to cough, poor thing, but the real victim, as we all know is me catching this male Typhoid-Mary plague. I plan to do rock climbing and repelling today and maybe play some billiards and poker but I sported a dull headache, no not a hangover, and slept a bit myself. What my headache didn't cancel, the gale force winds threatened to take care of. I will find that elusive clothing optional sunbathing to get that last minute tan all over. I will drink and over indulge to maximize the final day because it's back to Ottawa and the snow and the cold and taxes tomorrow and if I'm really really lucky I will escape unscathed by the man-cold to find my house intact and ready for business.
Gale force winds but that just means windy and comical to walk on deck... and sadly no rock climbing.
I researched the entire ship and no hidden sunbathing stops. My regular Adult only hot tubs contains at least two people so annoying that I have to get out. Sporting a dull headache since I woke up and I realized there is music everywhere.
Went to my first Brazillian restaurant and I loved it- mostly Mediterranean. Gambled but not going home a bazillionaire. Drank exactly one drink and was in bed by 8:30. I'm a pathetic party animal unless I compare myself to Jerry who never left his bed, poor thing.
Day#11- flying out today. My flight gate was changed, how annoying until I realized the people at that gate had theirs cancelled. Shortly after, I was offered a free aisle emergency exit seat and then learned that a man fell from a hotel at the airport and they cancelled 45 flights and delayed 97. Holy crap. I can say I honestly got lucky in the airport...not the Mile high club sense....more like the ground zero club because our flight left. Could the flight be any more perfect? A kid puked everywhere near me. Then the lady beside me admitted she was ill for only 3 days, so still contagious. Finally, the landing was so rough we thought it would flip on its side arrghhhhh! I want to be home.
Remember the war and peace Ottawa departure story of the buses? Same story going home only it was 4 buses with me not having winter boots. There had been a large snow storm the day earlier and again on my arrival.
Thankfully the last few streets were pretty good but the driveway, well, can't say the same. Anyway, the house structure is still standing but I made it. Great memories of a trip - maybe the first time in history. Thanks Jerry.
Music seems to be a common theme at the B&B. Every morning, the guests appear at the time they have requested and they get to choose the music they want to listen to at breakfast. They are usually so accommodating that they say they will listen to anything until I counter with Polka/Rap, then they quickly change their tune. And yes, it sounds like I'm stereotyping but some groups always choose classical, and other age groups always want breakfast rock. Lately, I've been listening to Hindi music, day after day after day, for a month, or is it 2 years, I'm not sure. The time just runs together when the music is "that good". That's what life is like when it's all about the guest. 
The year started off with me hosting a more intimate concert with Nigel who played lots of the Beatles and Homegrown Music that was a delight to listen to. https://www.musicalwellness.com/ 
Everyone brought their beautiful musical instruments to share for the "show" at Humanics Sanctuary on their opening day June 23rd. It was magical. Imagine this spiritual place in nature where all age groups have gathered in the quiet of the meditation rock gathering place. I explained to everyone how easy it is to heal and suddenly, everyone was practicing hands on healing and energy work. Three minutes into the utter silence of nature, save for the sound of birds and the bubbling nearby spring, we slowly started to pick up instruments like rattles, chimes, bells, thunder tubes, Tibetan singing bowls and crystal singing bowls. Everyone is wandering around trying all the instruments and nearing the 10 minute mark, the drums start....and reach a frenzy then on signal, utter silence. It gave me goose bumps it was so fascinating. The children really liked it and for some, it was their first attempt at healing. What a legacy to help teach the young.
I hosted a lovely indigenous woman Lill to make rattles at my house and then it evolved into hosting a drumming Circle until the Facebook event said they were like 600 people coming. So she found a new venue and now once a month I get to do free drumming with a lovely group of my closest and newest friends.
On a previous weekend I hosted a paint birthday party for a lovely group of women who requested my favorite folk singer musician Jim who does a great sing along session. The ladies loved this.
So every time I do a musical energy sound healing and I don't have somebody there who has brought some of their special instruments I'm a little embarrassed because it's less-than-stellar for me. My friend Cheryl noticed a woman was selling a large amount of musical instruments for a pittance so I flew over there same day and bought everything. I have expanded my musical repertoire greatly. And then I went down to the music store and bought two more Thunder tubes and an African Bellaphone. What have I done? I've got the music fever. So now I just need chime and crystal sounds if you have any donations for the cause.
I hosted a lovely indigenous woman Lill to make rattles at my house and then it evolved into hosting a drumming Circle until the Facebook event said they were like 600 people coming. So she found a new venue and now once a month I get to do free drumming with a lovely group of my closest and newest friends.
On a previous weekend I hosted a paint birthday party for a lovely group of women who requested my favorite folk singer musician Jim who does a great sing along session. The ladies loved this.
So every time I do a musical energy sound healing and I don't have somebody there who has brought some of their special instruments I'm a little embarrassed because it's less-than-stellar for me. My friend Cheryl noticed a woman was selling a large amount of musical instruments for a pittance so I flew over there same day and bought everything. I have expanded my musical repertoire greatly. And then I went down to the music store and bought two more Thunder tubes and an African Bellaphone. What have I done? I've got the music fever. So now I just need chime and crystal sounds if you have any donations for the cause.
