Friday, 17 August 2018

Battling the beasts - Raccoons and Japanese Beetles in my Organic Garden at Spoiled Rotten Bed and Breakfast

Awesome way to start the day, standing here in my bathrobe, not at the spa but rather in my backyard collecting my Harvest.

I've got spaghetti squash growing All Over The Back
Fence, hanging like living growing (albeit ugly) artwork
waiting to be groomed or picked.

Would show you grapes but the family of three raccoons are very well fed off of them those rat bastards. And lately, every morning I have to go out and flip over the sod that they have rearranged when they are looking for bugs. My grass just cannot grow like this abomination and it was doing so well with three layers of sod upon the other. Really. Damn varmints saw it as a triple layer of hors d'oeuvres on a platter. When I sit at my table late at night, and I look outside and see the white twinkle lights jumping up and down in the trees, I know I have visitors and it's time to read them the riot act until these unwelcome squatters vacate the premises. They refuse to read the eviction notice and I know they have no intention of paying rent. They might as well be teenagers, eating all my food, refusing to work, and threatening me when I tell them to shove off but even with their dangerously long claws, I'd probably rather wrestle a raccoon than an ornery teen.

And don't get me started on the Japanese Beetle who has been eating my grape plant out of house and home. They have skeletonized all the leaves so the raccoons can easily see the fruit. I originally made a spray to kill the bugs and stomped them until I learned they send out a pheremone when killed to call others to come visit. Now I start every day with a ziplock baggie and pop the monsters, who are usually having group sex and way more than I am, into the bag while they luxuriate or are furiously doing their business and too occupied to see me coming at them. Victory!

Every year I buy too many tomatoes and now I've got 18 tomato plants and they are beautiful.
It's always so nice starting the day with vegetables fresh from the garden and herbs. Yesterday I was cleaning a tomato and I started looking for the tag from the store and all of a sudden I realized oh man, these babies are fresh from the garden, and don't come with a sticker. 

Salsa is my favourite thing to make.  My tomatoes are all coming ripe and I gathered up a bunch of them and made a fresh salsa for my newly arriving guests. I put it on the table first day but no one ate it.  Tried again the second day; nothing touched.   I mentioned it to them before they left and one of them admitted they didn't want to use it cuz it hadn't been opened yet.  I groaned and said I have 35 bottles in the fridge that I just made for you guys so I sent them on their way with some. Note to self, always open the bottle first. The previous group a day earlier, not only opened the med large jar but sucked it dry.

I've also become a menace to myself and any who eat here, but more so than most times. My first foraging in the forest for edible weeds workshop gave me some knowledge, enough to make me dangerous. I took copious notes until he said Queen Anne's lace looks remarkably like Wild Parsnip which will cause you to break out in boils and pus, burst into flames and probably die. Decided not to take the chance, and tuned out, skipped all that information and want my money back for that lost 5 minutes.

The follow-up class with another instructor was foraging on a farm for medicinal and edible weeds. Now I have more clarity from repetition that all the 6' grass and everything I'm chopping down with my push lawn mower once a month is edible and I'm told it's good for the bees. Can't wait to make a weed salad and not the medicinal weed that's becoming legal soon.

Can you believe how many apple are growing on this five in one tree?  I wish I had a yard full of multiple grafted trees with fruit like lemons and oranges.  Such a conversation piece.  And the raccoons love them.  Hmmmm.  

Just googled recipes for raccoon and holy raccoon,  there are tons.  Brined Bandit and Sweet Potatoes, Cooking 'Coon, Crock Pot Raccoons, Roast Raccoon with Stuffing. It's kind of making me gag but oh I wish they could read this post/threat. They would be sure to run for the hills.  

As an afterthought, for all you menopausal women out there who haven't left your homes because of the heat, You're welcome.  It always happens.  I persevere with the warm nights in the Romance suite and the guests all just say, no it's fine, don't worry.  Finally, I can't take it anymore and I install the window a/c unit and then the nights turn cold and the days cool. I'm thinking of removing it but then, you know what will happen then...more global warming.    

No comments:

Post a Comment