Pandemic Travel on an RV with this Retired Homeless Senior

 My sister is the dreamer and I'm logistics so planning a preCovid 50th out of town birthday party with all the relatives was fraught with probs.   First and foremost  Covid prevented the BC dreamer and the chauffeur from flying back. We had decided to rent an RV and travel around Ontario, see some of our own country especially Manitoulin island, Killarney and Tobermory's clear blue waters.                                                                     Bro, his wife and I realized we could do this on our own with me planning the logistics, omg, not again!  lol.   We would get an RV from Kingston, pick up the rest of the Bellevilley Hillbillies, drive to the Hamilton Escarpment,  see baby bro in Windsor and start the glamping portion for the other three Holiday Inn campers. Luck was with the three broads- Tom was going to drive almost the entire trip and we would follow all the rules of the road by wearing our seat belts religiously, never standing to get food, never napping in the bed and drinking only coolaid cause alcohol is baaaaaaaad. 

We had high hopes for the escarpment which did not disappoint and seeing hundreds of waterfalls but alas, the RV was too big and the tourist too great on Labour Day weekend so we had to skip the falls. Boo, hiss. Stop smiling Dreamer!  

Before departure, I had talked with my older brother who was to warn younger sister we were leaving a day earlier but Tom being Tom, forgot until a couple of hours before departure knowing she works and it could be a problem. He encouraged her to get hopping by saying we would eat by the lites of the escarpment with the waterfalls nearby. It worked but me being me, the RV center was not in Hamilton but rather out in a treeless, mostly water-less lot, far from any waterfalls. My ass was grass especially when all the dishes I put aside earlier, as I was moving, I periodically pillaged from so we were missing; some crucial items... cups, glasses, chopping board... oh the list was long and the frowns of disapproval, many. Damage control took me back to my college days when I would borrow sugar from the cute testosterone next door. Same scam, different environment. I met all the campground neighbors and mooched aplenty- it was win/win socializing for everyone.

One of everyone's favourite places to stop was the amazing town of Erieau.  We were shocked

at how beautiful and peaceful it was and how phenomenal the beach was.  I could live there except it's a peninsula so you see water on both sides and I'm guessing it floods. I asked one gentleman how expensive houses were and he said "Really Expensive".  $300-$400,000 and I bet they don't have bidding wars.  My kind of place.

Baby brother Paul, near Windsor but in the country, has landscaping in his blood so his house is an oasis and a budding future retreat all in one for when they retire. Imagine living in the country witnessing both the sunrise and sunsets and starting both vacation days, surrounded by family around a bonfire from 7am to 11pm. Fantastic. One of my best memories is being offered their RV double bed since big brother always steals the best accommodations when we travel because, don't you know, he's married. Us single lepers sleep on tables, humps, and hang from the ceiling- but I'm not bitter, oh no...just plotting. That sleep in the other camper was the best ever. I should have just gotten the keys and taken two RV's. We finished off two days of laughter with our arms full of lifesaving forgotten RV items, food harvested from Paul and Marina's organic garden and seeds from their many spectacular flower beds. 

Off to the infamous Pinery, on a long weekend without a reservation and only a day pass- what could go wrong. I was teaching our fellow passengers how to manifest what we wanted...and more. We visualized the LAST electric site, on the water, with our neighbours being firemen moonlighting as  Chippendales. We spent time on the beach and we got chewed alive by sand flies while we swam and collected stones, oh so many stones. 

After a bike ride to find the reservation office, we happened upon the Chippendaley campground Super who not only called ahead but arranged for them to open up a site for us.... we were sooo lucky!!!! We called baby bro to brag and pull his leg about how we screwed up the RV dumping station. We had him thinking we were buffoons who had just opened the black poop storage to let it drop into the hole. Best laugh we've ever had in years but he will never trust us again and we will probably pay dearly for that prank.

The late-night jaunt  along the beach for much picture taking,  cheesecake shots filled up the night as we finished off with card games. I proposed a contest- who could get the most unique photo. 

A short while later, friend Deb grabbed my arm and whispered in the dark...look, its the biggest owl I've ever seen.  Maaaaybe??

She took her photo and I took a different vantage point. This was mine and hers is the dark shape.

At 2 in the morning along came the massive torrential thunderstorm that would last for 3 hours - basically all night. No amount of earplugs could block it. Sure the first 18 hours were lovely but at some point you just want to yell out "enough already". It was a late start in the morning, another walk along the beach, lots of mishaps almost as we pulled away without unplugging, turning off things, bringing in the slide out wall, but we're getting it.

With each passing day there are only four of us and we each seem to have a different chore. Sometimes it's washing dishes . In Tom's case it's driving so as soon as we arrive he picks up a book and disappears. I seem to be the one to find the campsites and set the GPS and Marina and I  do a lot of cooking while she tends the . It's working out very well but I sure would love to have Don driving and Diane cleaning.

Sauble Beach was interesting. The RV sites were not great but had private docks

and the rapids were beautiful. Another 1000 pics to delete in a year's time.

Sept 9

There are some drawbacks to tight living and out of a suitcase. The days are getting shorter and rainier and colder. I'm starting to dread the night time. I sleep on a table which converts to the breakfast nook so every night I have to take apart the table, which is quite heavy, and set up my entire bed. In the morning I wake up at 5:30 and it's difficult to read, blog or watch TV without waking up the whole place. With each passing day, I'm  starting to make more noise, the decibel of which a mouse would make which is too loud for me.  Across the room my roommate sleeps on the upper berth and has a curtain that drags across except for when we open the slide out and it gets locked into place so there's no privacy. That can never happen again cuz I treasure privacy these days after lacking it for so long in my previous "home". Gawd I sound whiny.

Tobermory is our greatest excitement... before Murphy's law!  We wasted lots of time with parking issues, booking a campground and switching. Lots of natural sites are reduced by the size of our vehicle. Can't see the grotto by land until after Sept 27- booked solid. Couldn't see the Grotto, Flowerpot island OR the damn glass bottom boats by sea cause of the wind and cancellations that day. Had to remind myself the universe was telling us to slooow down and smell the roses. We did love the rocks, water and lighthouse. We did love walking thru the cute Alaska-ish  town and walked a boardwalk outside of town that cost a small fortune for the entry fee and wasn't that entertaining.

Booking the ferry to Manitoulin was a beast. Of course we left it til the last min AND its supposed to be online but that's down. Office is Covid closed so that leaves the min half hour online wait. At 25 min I was the Ferry greeter telling everyone where to go. Another family came up so I told him at the end of my call, I would pass the phone. My party got the LAST car out and they sadly walked away. Drove 3 hrs for nothing. I asked the guy on the phone if there was anything he could do for them and next thing I know, they are on. Woo hoo! Won the lottery. A bit later while waiting for shoppers, I saw a woman struggling with 2 heavy bags of groceries. Well my mama taught me better than that so I offered to carry one to her destination. BIG mistake! The bag weighed 1000 pounds but I would be damned if I'd quit. If she could carry two, I could certainly carry one. I have become very wimpy and out of shape since Covid.

Raining all nite, cold, I fear we will not make another day but onto the ferry we will go. This last RV site was the best... laundry, baby goats, bogs, ponds,... I saw none of it the nite before- just blogged in the laundry room wifi and watched a DVD. We are lazy, tired plugs so now you know.

Spent the morning going over whether we were going to our  next destination or to stay in the same place. I am getting testy as I spend my mornings planning our next destination  and LaLa Tom breezes in and asserts his wishes, changes everything,  annoys the poop out of the on hold reservation clerk and gaily dances out leaving wreckage in his wake. 

The campground put pressure on us so we finally gave up our spot and decided to move on. Oh what a disaster but now we at least have one night booked nowhere on the route we intended.  We had wanted to drive down Georgian Bay but it's  Friday, another weekend at parks Canada, and every single park is booked solid for the RV's, and our RV is too long and there are no electrical sites available anywhere. What I did learn is at the nicer prov parks, its only electrical so every time you use water,  the generator kicks in. At the more expensive RV parks, we have it all and then some. My favourite, Tobermory Village RV and Campgrounds had a blog, trails, massive paddle boats, baby goats, go carts, outdoor workout machines AND an island of hammocks. Outstanding!!

So, my fellow travelers told me to stop lying about my role on this trip. Sure, a few extra hundred bags of luggage, and mess and yes, I do eat every hour on the hour and plan every mealtime so I don't die of starvation or lose any of my Covid 20 pounds and I use every dish in the house for all the cooking but really, I have been a delight to travel with. 

Finally got go on a bike ride and see nature then get in the driver's seat to start driving. Not even off the campground Gps Agnes had me in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't back up so bossy older brother Tom had to navigate and take over. Rather than take a chance again he drove to the Cup and Saucer Escarpment hike.

I have wrecked every part of my body with the move but this was so worth it for 2 1/2 hours. What a glorious afternoon of cliffs, rocks, vistas and every single person on the trail touching the same life saving railing and rocks. Hope Covid was not present but not the worst way to go, if I had to pick my departure day.

 We got back and I decided to drive again and it was so beautiful until I pulled into a grocery store. Got the perfect site. And then I decided to think like a man and find something closer forgetting that it's Friday and the whole parking lot is full. I pull up and Tom says you're not going to be able to get out of the spot and he says and if you go forward the back end is going to hit that truck behind us. Now I panicked with every inch I went i noticed he was right. And then of course I noticed all the cars that were facing me waiting to get out and I couldn't do it. I had to just simply put the car in Park and simply get out and walk away in shame and horror. When I pulled into the smaller spot I thought I was in my smaller prius. Boy that could have cost me a bundle. Tom did his magic and got us out of my 2nd blunder of the day. Eventually I got back on the horse around Sudbury and it was lovely so I drove until dark. The other two women

hate driving so much that they are willing to be driven to their maker by me and I'm guessing its been close a few times. At least Tom finally got to relax in the back and play his guitar. Not many pictures of him but he was there.

We arrived in Restoule provincial Park with  a bad GPS  input so ended up in the dark, no signs, no office, if we could ever find it was closed... oh you can only imagine the bickering...ugly days. Found our spot, set up in minutes like well oiled machinery  and then face planted to sleep. Cinderella Cathy  joined them 20 minutes later after her table bed was set up... still not bitter but more cursing the greedy married couple and off to counting sheep. 

We decided one day was not enough after the nite before so we relocated to an available site and the rain came. Cards, drinking, some legal medicinal herbs and let the games begin. Deb had only one hope and dream, to hike the fireman's tower trail. She ended her trip with broken dreams. We sat like slugs for the day.

One highlight was when I warned the smug little marrieds that they were sleeping on the table for the last night and I got the queen bed of marshmallows. In glee, I stripped their bed and room and tossed everything out of my new home. Yes it was work, and true, they got more storage on the front seats  that I never had access to but priceless. He daydreamed rerouting the carbon monoxide or raw sewage into my room. Ya, I know, mean! I warned that as I now owned the thermostat, it would fluctuate between 2 degrees  Celsius and 300 degrees. 

We played with our sole three, stolen, illegally from home, wet useless logs so the fire was lame... sorry Marina. Wait, where did she go? Tom went on the prowl to find her but she was Gone Girl. Out came the jammie  clad sleepy co-travelers with their flashlights to find this wandering, confused gypsy. A car stopped and out she steps. She got lost, told strangers, and when she didn't know her site, he brought her to the registration desk and then to us. Night over and off to my Holiday Inn queen bed suite.

We all slept in, rain again so no last minute hike for poor Sad Deb.  Can't really complain about the weather as it was sunny when we needed it to be and even surprised us a few times.  Us Boretski's experienced disappointments but we had a treat in store... 3 waterfalls as we went home thru Algonquin Park. I set up the GPS, bro approved, I went for a nap and woke up to Parry sound.  The GPS missed the turnoff!  Waterfalls were not to be on our must see this trip. Off thru sleepy towns, late gross lunch that we should have skipped when we saw the Gordon Ramsey vehement  head shake 20 page menu. I might have to review this place it was so bad, but the service was great.  At least we would be able to see Peterborough and the country roads but that was not to be either.  My GPS missed yet another leisurely drive thru Peterborough... i should throw it out the window, or update the maps maybe? 

Thank goodness for all the pictures and memories...we all looked so happy. 

Now let's really analyze RV travel. Its 4 adults gritting their teeth and smiling sweetly, counting down the days till we never have to see each other again.

Marina said its like the rats nest of her hair which is full of no less than 3 pairs of glasses, enough hair clips to set off airport security, pencils, wasps, an unnamed insect that she actually placed in her mop, and a floppy hat. Oh she would make the homeless community proud.

Everything must be tied down so when brakes are applied, often suddenly because we missed yet another turn, everything won't go flying. Even the most innocent thing becomes a projectile missile at the tap of the brakes. I was most worried about the daily naps Marina would take, fearing she would become a human missile / hood ornament as I'm not sure she ever seat belted up.  Shhhhh.

The floor is made of this weird sweater material, dirt and sand - impossible to clean. 

Unless you are freakishly tall, most of the cupboards are not for us Hobbits  of three. We lost more food than we could eat and on the last day, we found all the things we were sure we brought.

If you want to sleep in the top bunk, the curtain must be closed for privacy for the table leper but its an over heated furnace.  Deb opened the vent only to be showered by rainfall. Her bed was the daily luggage cemetery storage and once we put the final puzzle piece in place for the top bunk, we never took it out so we were constantly bashing our heads on the metal.

 

Space is limited for thee cooks at one time in the kitchen that required two dishwashers  one sweeper, a TV technician  and Prince Tom the reader. The two co-conspirator were constantly trying to throw out gently expired food, or worse, Deb, using a full saran wrap box to wrap one tiny plate of food. Was she raised by environmentally unfriendly wolves? I weep for the future of my grandchildren.

In this tin box, if you sleep on the table, you are inundated with lights on the water heater, the TV, the microwave clock, the testing panel of lights...for freaking gods sake, how many airline landing lights do you need in one room.

Tom and I decided that renting two campers would be the best or one camper with two couples so that no one had to sleep on Cathy's Table.  Would I do it again, I think so.  Would I enjoy it more if we were less spontaneous and unorganized, most definitely.  If the dreamer and driver come back to Ontario in the fairy tale land of unicorns and no masks,  I definitely would do a re-do.  I'm waiting Diane.